Saturday, February 13, 2010

trusting ...

Before our wedding, I had kind of put off thinking about moving to where my husband (I love calling him that!) gets accepted to doctoral school. ... moving ... school ... moving ... new job ... new house/apartment/neighborhood ... did I mention moving? I think it was sort of a coping mechanism - my life was going to drastically change with our marriage and I didn't know if I was prepared to contemplate another big change. I have always felt at peace about the situation and I believe my trust was genuine then ... even if I didn't flush out my thoughts and feelings completely. And now, after our wedding and the first few weeks of our marriage, I have taken some time to think (and feel) about this change coming up.

I do this now knowing that the big change of our marriage has (so far, graciously) been a smooth transition, an answer to prayers - ours and many others. I can see God's faithfulness and provision for us during this season of change. We prayed and talked about and prepared for this time, and I think God has blessed that. And knowing that has helped me approach this:

I LOVE my life.

I like, Rochester, yes. And the bike trails along the river.

I like my job, yes. And my co-workers and the Healthy Dan.

I like my house, yes. And playing in the dirt in my yard. And that my house is becoming our home.

But I LOVE the fact that when I walk into a room, I don't know which person to hug first.

I love the times when my house is too small to hold our friends.

I love being an hour from my parents and about two minutes from his.

It makes me sad to think about leaving. That is kind of an understatement - I feel like going into mourning when I think about leaving. And, then, thankfully, I am able to think past the initial sadness. All too often I get absorbed in the emotions of a situation which causes me to not think clearly about that situation. Anyway, I digress.

While we will (hopefully) be selling the house, the people who have filled it and made it HOME will still be present in my life. And I find comfort and joy in that thought. It will change our relationships but it wont end them. I find comfort in that truth. All of the things in my life - my job and house - are meant to be for God's glory and it is good for me to remember not to hold them too tight. He is faithful and will provide for my relational and emotional needs. I trust this now and I choose to trust this as we wait to find out where he gets accepted and then as we prepare to move.


Chinwe said...

Oh boy! This is a tough post to read 'cos I'm still in denial about all this moving stuff!

But I hear ya!

Nonna said...

I don't like to think about it either, but I have to remind myself that God has a wondrous plan for your lives. You will definitely be closer than China!

lindsay said...

I somehow never really pictured you and Chris anywhere but in your house... makes me sad to think about it too.

But it is true that those you have opened up your house and your lives to will continue with you, although things will change.

Let me know what you hear from doctoral schools, ok?

Anonymous said...

Life is constantly in change, relax and enjoy the ride!