Dear Christopher John

You sleep in our bed, steady and true.
The house is quiet but evidence remains ...
Dishes from dinner, bought by you and prepared by me.
Loaves of bread, brown and high,
new year's goals in practice.

Papers ready for tomorrow, to talk about our financial future.
Loki's bone left in the living room while he sleeps on his own bed.
Theology books, yarn and fabric on the couch.
A game on the floor, to be continued.

Your breathing increases and decreases, like rhythms of life.
Sometimes adventures, traveling and a new city.
Sometimes walking the dog, studying, baking and playing games on the floor.
All with you, by your side for as long as God gives.

Home

The last year and a half I have had a hard time defining home.

I struggled with it in this post, soon after we moved and since then, I have kind of waffled between calling Franklin home and calling Rochester home. 

We visited Minnesota last week and I remembered where I was from ... 

and I knew where I am to call home.

I walked with Loki along the Zumbro (a little river in Rochester) 

and I found the place where Christopher and I sat when we first talked about getting married.

I thought of how our life has changed in the last two years. 

and of God's faithfulness. 

I know that I will always call Rochester home, 

in the same way that I will always call Hastings home. 

I bought my first home, developed lasting friendships and fell in love in Rochester. 

And all those things I take with me (except the house, thankfully!) 

Rochester will always be a part of my past - and my future. 

But for now, Franklin is home. 

And in my journey to find home, I have also found contentment, joy and strength.

I think I will always struggle when our life changes but I can look back

and see God's faithfulness in the these years and know that

in the most important way, I will always be home.

 This picture reminded me of the reflection in a puddle picture that my sister in law posted earlier this month.

about life

Transition: movement, passage or change from one position, state, stage to another.

As I sit here starring at the blank box in front of me that is waiting to be filled with many fun updates the only words I really want to write is "I want to go home" or perhaps "I want this place to feel like home" and so perhaps it is better to say it and not ignore the elephant in my office. Have I mentioned that I don't really take to change well? And in the past week I have moved and started a new job? Oh, and my husband starts school in two weeks? I didn't fully grasp how much I would miss our friends and family - not to mention Rochester in general and that little house I love (and still own). And so I have struggled ... to be thankful for the relationships and memories and to remember that we are supposed to be here. And so now that I have said it, I can ask you to pray and move on.

(By the way, I think they should call PhD school something other than "school" because it doesn't really fall under my definition of "school". Maybe I'll come up with some other options ... )

So ... um, do you want to see some pictures of the greatness of the last month?

FYI: if you ever have the conversation with your spouse (or yourself) if it would be better to take some time off of work and travel with family and friends or move right away and start making money, always choose the first option. you wont regret it.

In and around Beijing with the Brenna/Butz family:

We ate amazing food and hiked up some really old steps

We sweated and found and bartered for treasures

We played Mario Cart and Pandemic

We relaxed and celebrated

We laughed and loved

BWCA (Boundary Waters Canoe Area) trip with 5 amazing ladies

a portage trail

Lake One to Hudson Lake, about 21.5 miles paddled and 1.6 miles portaged

We packed smart and portaged once

We problem solved, navigated and improvised

We slept on an island and had our own private lake

We threw our food up in trees at night and napped in the afternoon

We basked in the wonder of fog rising off, crystal clear water and fantastic stars above us

Murder Mystery Party, last days in Rochester

LOVE all their faces!

Thanks guys for an amazing time!

First days in Franklin

(I hesitated to call these "Loki's Adventures" because that seemed too crazy, over the top - dog owner-ish)

his place to hide

looking for a park that overlooks the lake

hot and happy

I have much to be thankful for.

Now I am going to read my Bible with my dog in my lap before going to sleep next to my husband.

And that is a darn good definition of "home"

Coming Home

It's 8am when I come home, the sun's warmth already chasing away the coolness of the night.
Our little dog wants to play and then calmly waits for his food, like we practice every morning.
I watch him run around the perimeter of our yard, then jump over the hastas near the gazebo before coming to the door.
After pancakes or oatmeal or sometimes ice cream, I sit on the couch and invite the little dog up with me and read of the total love of my God, a rhythm that helps me sleep.
And then, finally, I climb into our big bed and, if I am lucky, my husband is still there. I have been pretty vocal about how much i love these moments and I know that if he can, he will stay long enough for me to fall asleep.
His hand finds mine and my head finds the spot between his shoulder and neck that is made for me.
He warms me as my cold feet find his and he hold me as my body releases any left over tension from the night.
I sigh.
Sleepy. Content. Warm.
Home.

tour ...

Linds (and a few others who may be interested), here is your "tour" of our place with Chris all moved in - and before we begin to de-clutter in order to show it.












































































Where Loki sleeps and *sometimes* sits.
When Chris is working, Loki can be found under the desk.
But when Chris is gone, he sits at the top of the stairs, waiting for him.
And recently, in the mornings, he has been sitting under the kitchen table in a patch of sun.
When we are both gone, we think he may sit on the couch, looking out the big windows and I think he uses that time to taste some of my plants on the ledge.


























There is now 5 bookcases in our bedroom. Chris moved in some clothes and lots of books.

God whispering "I love you"

273. smells of bread baking

274. heartfelt conversations

275. A weekend with time spent with both of our parents

276. Being called "sister" at work, here in America, bringing back memories of Africa.

277. the warmth of sunlight

278. Green buds poking up through the earth
















279. listening to my husband tell me of the money he saved at the grocery store

280. knowing an exciting secret

281. working together towards making our budget and savings goals

282. popcorn















283. being still

284. my hand in his

285. notes left for me

286. finding strength and peace in His promises

287. being excited about the future

288. and hopefully visiting China this summer!!!!


289. using a purse my aunt made me long ago.









290. a car to drive

291. an abundant amount of food in the fridge and pantry.

292. ridiculously clean floors (in order to be ridiculously clean, it had to have been pretty dirty to begin with ... )

293. our dog keeping my feet warm

294. long, multi-colored e-mails to and from a dear friend

295. A girl at AWANA with lime green sun glasses and an off kilter ponytail

These are from last week and need some pictures =)

So far today:

296. My husband is okay after injuring his fingers while working on our retaining wall

297. A father-in-law willing to help

298. calmness after a busy weekend

299. learning lessons (again): Matt 16:26

161. French press coffee. Holy. cow. It is like super coffee.
162. Knitting baby hats.
163. days off
164. moving, sorting and purging
165. a fire in the fireplace
166. evening walks as the snow is softly falling.
167. snow pants
168. candles

(yes, from Christmas)

169. being a dog owner

170. being taught consistency from being a dog owner
171. the excitement of said dog when i simply get up in the morning






172. Finding new meaning in verses memorized long ago

173. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30

174. New plates
175. Grocery shopping with my husband
176. Let's face it: doing anything with my husband =)
177. quiet mornings
178. seeing the sun after several days of clouds and snow
179. listening to Michael Buble
180. meds that make my husband feel better
181. an answered prayer: a baby's heart healing
182. the quilt made for us by my aunt.