Lil' House on the Hill

Dear lil' house on the hill,

 We are now officially your renters, although we wont move in for about another week. When we looked at you, we were still thinking that we didn't want a July lease (but that changed after we saw many other places that didn't really fit the bill) so I don't really remember how big your rooms are or what color your walls are. I am fairly certain that the pictures on Craigslist are old and that the living room isn't bright blue but I can't say for sure.

I am pretty excited that the piano will be staying but am even more excited about the little postage-stamp yard with a small gardening plot. I'm already schemeing and dreaming of a compost pile, water barrel and more tomatoes and zucchini than we know what with. Oh and pumpkins! Maybe we'll grow enough food that I'll be able to work less. Or maybe we'll grow so much food that it will seem like I have two jobs! I'm working on convincing Christopher that he doesn't have a black thumb so that he can join me in this endevour/adventure/second job.

We think that your layout will work perfectly for us with our bedroom downstairs and two others upstairs. It will be nice for Christopher to have his office upstairs away from the main living areas. I hope that we will fill the third bedroom with toys and that we will hear little feet pitter patter on your wood floors. I hope that we will fill your rooms with memories and even better friends. I can't wait to sit on your porch and read or wave to the neighbors. I am excited to walk Loki through the parks in the neighborhood and to venture the mile east and enjoy the lake.

I want so much from you ... I want to create a peaceful space where we can love and grow. I want to entertain our friends in our home in a way that hasn't been as convenient living 30 minutes away from them. I hope that our family will visit and feel welcome. But most of all I hope that we will know that the real magic lies with the people in the house and not with the house itself. You will be the framework that holds our love and the place where we make memories but the bigger picture lies in the relationships and in the One who brought us all into being.

So lil' house on the hill (and I really hope that name sticks), we are super excited to see you in a few days!

Some unexpected news last week has me spending the weekend in Milwaukee instead of going to Baltimore to visit a friend as originally planned.

Our apartment is a disaster (will someone please call in FEMA?) but it makes for a good analogy of life right now. 

We need times when we work hard and don't touch the laundry on the floor. We need times when we pack up and drive home, returning literally just in time to go to work and we eat food my mom sent for two days til we have time to buy groceries. And then we need the times when we, slowly but surely, go to the store, put away the laundry and change the sheets.

We need times when all we can do is process the information given and the emotions that accompanies it. We need times when we run into the open arms of family and friends. And then we need times to slow down, reflect and trust in the comfort and faithfulness that God provides.

Hopefully this weekend will bring calmness to both my apartment and my heart.
 

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

Seven random things about life now

1) I gave up Facebook for lent. I had been thinking about a trial separation from Facebook and lent seemed like a good opportunity. So, what have my thoughts been so far?

I do have more time and while I have found some other things to waste it on, I have also been more productive. =) I noticed that a lot of my "interactions" with friends were on facebook and I want to put effort - away from my computer - into my relationships of today; my current co-workers, my friends, my husband and God.  That said, I do miss seeing some updates: pictures of friends' babies, updates from my sister-in-law about their life and kids, etc, and updates on my cousins lives.

2) I went to Eau Claire last week to visit some girlfriends from college. I stayed overnight along the way so I didn't have to go the nine hour trip in one day and then we had lunch and took turns holding their babies. It was wonderful to get away for a short while and see old friends and would have been incredibly relaxing if not for the winter storm that blanketed everything in white and made driving stressful for half of my drive home. 

3) My husband has taken over the task of being our social coordinator lately. I am absolutely in love with conversations that start with him saying "so and so are coming over for dinner on Sunday. Do you want to have this or this?"

4) I have worked lots of overtime lately, including one day shift. I may never work another day shift again. For reals. But, aside from that, it has mostly been pleasant. I have been put in several situations (i.e. conflicts) that have given me some insight in how I respond to things at work. Also, I have been reminded that I really like my co-workers.

5) Many of our friends had babies in Jan and Feb so I spent some time making baby gifts.

{a nursing cover from this tutorial}

and I made a few hats for klove and cure international's knit pray love campaign.

6) We gave Loki a new toy that claims to be indestructible. At first we called it "ducky" but he didn't seem to understand that, probably because it sounded too much like "Loki" so now we call him "Howard."

7) Maybe it's spring fever or the fact that I have been land-locked and adventure-less for too long but I've been day dreaming and doing some research about going on vacation: a cruise, Hawaii, the Florida Keys. If all works out, we'll take a nice vacation in the fall when Chris is done with his qualifying exams. For now, we are going to have a mini stay-cation this Friday night and I am awaiting April which will see me flying to Baltimore.

Five Minute Friday: Ache

Today I'm linking up with The Gypsy Mama, using her prompt to write a post that has been forming in my head for awhile.

Go {0700, yep, I'm up early!}

I sit on the couch with a tow-headed toddler, the son of a Marquette student who I just met. We read about Luella the Ladybug seventy four times as his blond curls brush my cheek. The room is buzzing with activity: friends celebrating a baptism, students talking about scholarships and qualifying exams, and moms discussin due dates, car seats and sleep schedules.  I don't know why he choose me, a stranger in a sea of strangers but I was grateful to settle in under the din and read about Luella.

I remember riding to the party, clutching my husband's hand and, with tears stinging my eyes, praying that I'll be able to enjoy a party that centers around a baby when we know that one wont be joining us in nine months. I was surprised at the emotions that surround finding out this time and, despite our prayers, the band around my chest tightened, the physical ache behind emotional pain. 

The ache lessons with acknowledgement -- to my husband, to friends who care and to co-workers who also wish they could "drink the magic water" - and it begins to lift through prayer. But on that Sunday, as the conversations swirled around us I found comfort in the the little hands turning the pages and the promise of God's faithfulness.

STOP {0707, almost!}

Giving thanks ... for the whole month ...

So, it's a long list, without pictures but FULL of blessings.

Speaking of pictures, I will continue my photography challenge ... soon. Life kinda got in the way and I have no qualms about leaving this tiny corner of the internet quieter so I can spend my free time with my husband, dog and friends while I work some overtime.

#1846 - 1900
- tears shared with friends
- giving thanks as a community, even when it is hard
- accepting change,
- holding firm to God's promises
- praying for friends
- hearing our friend say that my husband is a good listener. i know. =)
- a doctor who listens, summarizes, makes a good diagnosis and gives good/conservative recommendations. (the primary care doctors I have encounters thus far have exceeded the expectations set by Mayo doctors. I think this is either a)because they are not residents b) there is A LOT of competition here - between health care systems and doctors or c) a coincidence. Whatever the case, I am happy to find a good primary that we like.)
- answers
- antibiotics
- coffee with a friend
- a parking ticket because it meant i spent more time than anticipated with my friend.
- my husband, giving the man walking by his coffee when the man asked
- planning/scheming/getting excited for Christopher's surprise party
- lots of firsts at work; gaining confidence as I deal with new situations
- friends having babies and friends who are going to have babies.
- my manager calling me while I was working to see how things were going because I haven't seen her recently.
- getting some feedback at work
- my mom and my mother-in-law helping and planning the details and amazing food for Chris' party
- the way my father-in-law greets me with a huge smile and hug
- friends coming to celebrate my hubby
- realizing that I don't view our Marquette friends as our "new friends" anymore; now they are just friends. =)
- Christopher's look of shock, evidence that we pulled off a good surprise
- Eva, coming all the way from Rochester for the party and one night
- and her accordion rendition of Happy Birthday. LOVE
- Loki and Penny (Eva's tiny little dog) are friends!! If you have ever seen Loki with another dog, you will know why this is noteworthy. Other people are okay. Other dogs, not so much. It made me sooo happy that he was nice to her!
- an extra hour in which to watch Thor
- breakfast with my parents
- organizing the office. Let's be honest: it has never ever really been organized. Now the books are on a brand new huge bookshelf and my craft stuff is organized in the corner. It looks great!
- being on call during my overtime shift
- warm pear cinnamon cider from Trader Joe's. I'm in love and just may have had a cup every day this week.
- birds flying south
- curling up with Loki on a cold day
- apples grown just down the road
- my husband, all handsome in a sweater vest
- being told that I handled a situation at work well
- overtime money that goes into our savings. We are sooooo close to make our saving goal this year but we think we'll be just a little short. (more on the progress of my 2011 goals later)
- co-workers who give me rides to and from work so that Christopher can go to school or study or sleep. And it also makes it possible for us to work out our schedule with one car. I am so grateful for their willingness to give me rides!
 - one really busy night at work. for my co-workers who were working and the pieces that were in place as our first night shift emergency occurred in the hospital.
- knowing that we all worked really hard and having the patient's family acknowledge that as well.
- our patient's loving family
- hearing from every person involved that it went really while and also identifying some areas for improvement
- time to decompress with my co-workers 
- our new night shift nurse practitioner. ohhhh, words can't express
- dinner with friends, both planned and spontaneous
- Christmas shopping on-line. pretty sure it was made just for me.
- quality time with my husband, carefully planned during our busy week and really important
- warm, fuzzy slippers.
- knitting, creating new things that were simply yarn earlier
- Loki's big brown eyes
- my husband's mad cooking skills
- my co-working bringing me coffee =)
- time to spend with my family this weekend
- warm coats, gloves and hats
-

Night shiftin' it

When I tell people that I work night shifts, their reaction is fairly consistent. They moan, feel bad for me and ask when I will be able to work day shifts. Aside from the fact that I make a little more money working nights and aside from the fact that working nights is convenient because we only have one car, I have begun to enjoy the rhythm of night shifts and also the rhythm that it gives my life.

Granted, there are the very obvious cons (that I'm sure you can come up with yourself) but I have come to really appreciate the other side of the column: the pros.

• I have a rather regimented way of sleeping and protect sleeping above all else. I certainly can't say that about when I worked day shifts. 
•  Nights at the hospital are just ... different ... better ... quieter than days. During night shifts there are fewer family members, nursing managers and doctors and I think that is a good thing for nurses. Oh and there are no meals for the patients on night shifts. I greatly dislike meal times; it is soooo inconvenient for the nurse! At the risk of sounding even more jaded towards my career, I'm going to move on ...
• I stay up late a few nights a week to prepare for my shifts and I really enjoy those nights. I usually don't do much - my husband is sleeping which limits the housework, my friends are sleeping which limits social activities and stores are closed which limits errands. The introvert in me LOVES this alone time and I look forward to it every week. 

It is true that I choose to work night shifts and that, for right now, that schedule works out well for our life. But it is also true that I enjoy them and am thankful for this crazy, random, nocturnal schedule. 

Five Minute Friday x 2

One of the best things about this blog is that I can do whatever I want. I can post twice in one day (what IS up with that? oh wait, it probably has something to do with my awesome new computer!), I can post tons of pictures or no pictures at all, I can even type in all letters of the rainbow.
And so tonight I am linking up with Gypsy Mama and I'm writing two posts - "Home" and "Backwards" the prompts from this week and last week. The rules are simple: write for 5 minutes without editing or over thinking. 


Home {start 12:20am}
Home is a fairly fluid concept for me right now. I say I am going home when I leave work to go to the apartment that I share with my husband and our dog; my projects sit in piles in the "office" and I explore the park nearby with Loki. I say that I am going home when we drive across the state of WI to the city where my husband was born and where I spent four years of my adult life; we stay up late playing games and eat at my favorite restaurant with some of my favorite friends. I say I am going home when we drive a little longer and go to my parents house; I help my mom in the kitchen and we play games around the table that I ate dinner for decades. 
All of these place are home ... and yet none of them really are. 
John 14:2&3 -- In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I got and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you may also be. 
{stop: 12:26am}

Backwards {start 12:27am}
I work twelve hour night shifts, three nights a week on a unit with far too few patients for my liking. I often feel that I live a little backwards. I try to stay awake play Banana grams work when everyone else is sleeping and I crawl into bed around the time that most people are having their morning coffee. Even days/nights that I don't work, my life is a little messed up ... you see, after doing night shifts for awhile you figure out what you have to do to stay awake for the whole thing and for me that involved staying up really late the night before and sleeping in. And so, I snuggle with my husband, kiss him goodnight and (my favorite recent activity) sit down at my sewing machine, play a good playlist on my ipod and work on one of the numerous projects that I have decided to do this summer. Sometimes I blog and eat some Trader Joe cinnamon-ized almonds and Loki wakes up and comes out to see if he can get some. I tell ya, that dog could be in a dead sleep and when I close the refrigerator door, he is standing there expectantly. And then, when the almonds are gone, Loki sits there and looks at me until I go with him to our bedroom and invite him up onto the bed where Christopher is sleeping. (I'm not sure what happened to the girl who didn't want the dog to sleep on the bed but at least he waits for permission.) 
And so, if you'll excuse me, I am almost done with a project and now I want some almonds!

{end 12: 32}