Thursday, September 30, 2010

Thankful Things

When we moved I knew that things would be hard and then things would get better. And then, suddenly, without warning, the homesick-ness would slap me and demand to know why I had forgotten about it because it is still very much there. It was a strange combination of things that caused that to happen.
We had two couples over for dinner last weekend and it was lovely - nice to cook with Chris for other people in our house, exciting to get to know these new friends better, and fun to teach them a new game. At one point I realized that it seemed a little strange as they were waiting for us to be "hosts." Apparently (of course!) entertaining is different when it is with people you just met vs. friends who have shared your life for several years. Why I didn't realize that before that evening is beyond me but I think I recovered enough so that it wasn't awkward. And while I am so thankful that they came and they were very polite guests, it made me miss that people who have "fridge rights" in our life and who will sit at our table and drink wine while we finish cooking and who help themselves to whatever they want.
Then, a few days later we accepted our buyers counter offer and we now have a closing date for the end of October.
 I AM thankful ... and (to be honest) also sad and relieved and frustrated that we will lose money. It is the last physical thing that ties us to Rochester and while I thought I had dealt with most of the sad feeling about moving and selling the house, having a date, a finite ending of that phase of my life, is sad. 
And so, Monday night had me curled up on the couch with a black ball of sleeping warmth in my lap wearing smart wool socks, sipping good earth tea and watching 24 on netflix.  Comfort things ... coping mechanisms. I'm not sure it is a grand idea to list the things I miss ... so I will do it only once ...  I miss my yard and the dirt beneath my hands ... I miss my old job for so many reasons ... I miss our friends (the things above are in part comfort things because they remind me of them) ... and dinners at Mom and Dad Brenna's ... and worship at Salt and Light. I know that I miss these things because they are good, because I am blessed, because God is faithful. He is faithful and will continue to provide, in this place, in this phase of life. And my gratitude list will continue to grow.
And so, for today ...
934. being thankful when it is hard
935. family
936. friends
937. my handsome husband's sweet kiss as he gets out of bed (and I get to sleep for much longer)
938.calling Chris' parents "Mom and Dad B" ... somehow, in the last few weeks, that has begun to stick and I like it. =)
939. I am thankful that our house will be sold next month. It is an answer to prayer and an example of God's provision.
940. New friends around our kitchen table
941. and a mostly successful "mission" to convince them that they also like board games  =)
942. yummy smells from the crock pot
943. Walking the dog through neighborhoods - instead of just apartment land
944. the smell of fall air
945. chunky peanut butter inside the kong, helping to keep Loki quiet while I sleep
946. Chris' listening ear as I talk/vent about my work schedule
947. fantastic deals at local grocery stores. (HyVee does not compare!)
948. encouragement from a woman I hardly know
949. hoodie weather
950. comfy socks
951. tea in my favorite mug
952. truth touching my heart
953. a leisurely walk through the orchard that is a few miles from our apartment
954. planning when to go home next
955. planning fun things to do with friends when they come to visit!!!
956. the cappuccino yielding house supervisor from last tonight
957. finishing P90X workouts and knowing I am getting stronger because of it
958. and ... ummm ... skipping P90X and going to get ice cream ...
959. spending an afternoon with my grandma
960. the flexibility to adjust schedules in order to have quality time
961. long conversations about money, the next few years, and what is really important to us
962. mornings when i get to fall asleep in my husband's arms
963. An improvised cookie recipe turning out okay -- our oven isn't working, we didn't have milk and I wanted to make them healthier - and, after all that, they are pretty tasty.
964. reading my sister-in-laws blog and knowing that we share the same feelings from moving even though we did it in different countries for different reasons and in a different stage of life.
965. layering clothes
966. the hat for Chris taking shape beneath my hands


Life With the Lopez Family said...

I am sure it is hard Rachel. I don't have any comfort advice or much to say but only that I am thinking of you. Love ya!

Gina Marie said...

Rachel, I love your heart! I miss you both so much. I know how wrenching these times can be and I'm encouraged that you are striving to keep your heart open and to embrace what God is giving you (while mourning what you have lost - very important!) Have I told you that are everything I ever prayed for in a women for Christopher and more? You bring out the best in him!

Nonna said...

I do remember those times early in our marriage when we moved so much. It is hard to let go of those things that have been special and memorable. The wonderful thing is that in time you realize that you are exactly where God wants you.

I love #938 on your list. We certainly feel like you are our daughter!