Life with two ...

In April I gave birth to our son, Elias. He is a sweet baby who likes to eat and snuggle. We are very much in love!

I knew I would like the newborn stage better this time around, having already adjusted to motherhood and having some idea of what to expect. I feel more confident and relaxed. However, layering Zoe's schedule with Elias' newborn unpredictability has been difficult but we are slowly finding our rhythm. It has been a good time for me to accept help, lessen my household expectations and focus on enjoying our babies.

What Tree School is teaching me

This year, Zoe, Elias and I are joining Tree School co-op, a small group of families who meet once a week at the Urban Ecology Center in Milwaukee (which is AMAZING!) and let our kids explore and teach them about the outdoors.

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to do when it's my turn to teach/lead and I had so many reasons not to join that I almost didn't go and try it out. But I went and loved it and I thought what if my kids had a list of reasons/fears not to try something new and I just said okay. I didn't challenge their reasons or help them conquer their fears. What if I did nothing. What then.

What then.

And how will I expect our children to enter into new situations if I refuse to?
If I say No, it is too hard. No, it is too scary. No, I am overwhelmed.
How will I teach them to change that thinking to "it is hard but it is not impossible." "It is scary meeting new people and doing new things but it will help us grow." " I am overwhelmed. How can I ask for help?"

Props to the Tree School moms (and one grandma) who have welcomed us and helped me navigate the woods.

I am still becoming more comfortable bringing both kids anywhere by myself so taking them literally into the woods is both challenging and exciting. And I am easily overwhelmed on Monday mornings after working all weekend and Christopher and I have talked about what he can do to help us get ready for our day. Hopefully this will give us a fun start to our week together.  I am excited (but also still a little scared) to be part of a group of moms who share similar interests/passions and to learn from others about different ways to teach kids.

Zoe already learned the word "squirrel" and is already more comfortable with the group. She brought leaves and acorns home today to show Daddo and Loki. Elias has learned to nurse in the forest and enjoys sleeping in the carrier when he's tired.

We've only been twice and I am looking forward to the upcoming year!

For them

About two months ago I went back to work following my maternity leave after having Elias. I left the night shift hospital supervisor position to work weekends - DAY shift - on a medical/surgical floor. Around that same time, Christopher and I wrote down our personal and family goals for the next several years.

Over the years I have worked for many different goals. I've worked crazy amounts of overtime to pay off loans and go on fun trips with friends. I've worked to save money for a mission trip in Ghana, a down payment on a house and for our wedding and honeymoon fund.

It would be cliche (and not true) for me to say that I work "for my patients" - while I enjoy taking care of (most) patients, the hospital pays me for the hours I spend there and my job - like every other one in the world - involves activities that aren't very pleasant. Regardless, I am so thankful to look back at the many jobs I have had during my career and know that at this point, this job fits the needs of our family.

Today, at this stage in life, I work for them:

I work so that Christopher can write his dissertation during the week and also have quality time with the kids during the week.

I work so that one day these kiddos can run barefoot around our little hobby farm and collect our chickens eggs and pick produce from our gardens.

I work so that we will one day be a professor's family.

I work on the weekends so I can spend my weekdays taking walks, going to parks and juggling nap times.

I work for them. Not just to pay our rent or the grocery bill. I work for our future, for our dreams, for our life.

And in the process, I realize that I am living my dream.



*This could also be known as the post that broke the internet with too much cuteness.*

My Grandma's death and my son's birth

You know how sometimes, unrelated events become linked in your mind and that is that way you view them forever?

A little over three months ago, early on Easter morning, I was woken up early by a text from my dad and I drove out to the hospital to say good bye to my Grandma Schumann. It was a truly beautiful morning - the sun was rising, I remember seeing ducks on a pond near the hospital - and my family gathered around my grandma and said the Lord's Prayer as she entered the Kingdom of Heaven. It was calm, it was peaceful and it was beautiful.

It was also unexpected and sad.

I was over 38 weeks pregnant when she passed away.
Over the next week, my family made plans for her funeral which would be the following Saturday. For months (MONTHS!) I had been telling my parents - who were coming to watch Zoe while we were at the hospital - that they should come to Milwaukee that weekend because I knew (KNEW!) I was going to have our baby that weekend. Even though my due date was later that week and I was scheduled to work that Sunday and Monday, I was certain he would be born that weekend.
So I prayed that I would have peace if he came before the funeral and I couldn't attend. He didn't and I was able to spend that weekend with my family, celebrating her life. I am so thankful for that gift. Had things been different - had we lived further away - had I given birth to Elias on a different day - it may not have been possible for me to be there so I really do view it as a gift.

On Sunday, we woke up a little tired and decided to stay home. I was supposed to work that night and wanted to rest (thank goodness I did!!). I was rather baffled by the fact that I was still pregnant but when my mom asked if she should stay in town, I said no. I was planning on going to work and was feeling pretty good. I remember driving to work thinking that I never really planned to work that night - I was convinced that I would have a baby by then.

At work, my gracious co-worker gave me an easy job for the first few hours. Around 10pm, I thought I may be having contractions and by 11pm, I knew that they were regular and getting closer together. I had had a fair amount of Braxton Hicks contractions prior but when these started, I knew they were different. Now, even though I work at a hospital, we don't do babies so everyone freaked out a little bit when I said that I was in labor. =) I knew I had plenty of time - 12 hours in fact - so I called my co-worker who was "on call" for me and went home.

After a shower to see if it would slow things down - it didn't - our friend Andrew came over to spend the night with Zoe and Loki because I had told my mom that it was okay to go to Oshkosh. She drove back in the morning and was there when Zoe woke up.

Now, Zoe's labor was interesting because I had some sort of infection (a fever, high WBC count, etc) and I was started on pitocin almost right after getting to the hospital. I still had a natural (medication/epidural free) birth but it was busy. So I was amazed at how much time we had "alone" during this labor. We walked the halls repeatedly and I met the nurse in our room on the hour so she would check my vitals. I was given a little box - like telemetry - and could see the baby's heart beat and my contractions on the screen by the nurses station as we walked by. I never met the on call dr who "admitted" me. It was calm and peaceful. I tried to rest --- hahaha. My body seems to like having contractions exactly 3 minutes apart for HOURS which is what it has done with both babies.

Around 8 am, my doctor came in - it was now Monday morning - and was pleased with my progress. I was fairly exhausted and repeatedly asked Christopher and Kara, our doula, to tell me that the last stage of labor would be quicker than it was with Zoe. I pushed for three hours with her and I didn't think I had it in me. They were quick to reassure me that it would be faster.

By 10 am, it appeared that I had stopped progressing at 8 cm and my doctor broke my waters. Elias Christopher was born one (very long and hard) hour later.

He giggles in his sleep and pretty much every time we look at him.

Life Rules According to My Toddler

Life Rules According to My Toddler

• Don’t feel compelled to choose favorite foods. Eat tons of one thing one day and then none of it the next.

• Decide on a certain activity (“outside”) and then demand it every day after breakfast.

• If an item is in a bag or in a drawer, take it out and put it somewhere else. Repeatedly.

• Do anything for fruit snacks.

• If you find a tiny loose item, clearly it belongs in a hole of some sort – try the keyhole on the door first, then the dog’s kong.

• Multiple pieces of the same toy should never all be in the same room. Ever.

• When deciding on which book to read before bed, refuse every one except the last one. Any other time you should ask to read every book a minimum of five times.

• When someone gives you horsie rides, they should always wear bunny ears.

• Peak - a - boo is the solution to every conflict. And fruit snacks

•  Taking a walk is code for time to examine every thing on the side walk ... and in the grass ... and any nearby area. 

Prepping for Baby #2

For fun - or maybe because this is a form of nesting - here's what we've been up to prepping for Baby #2, aka Baby Brother's arrival. IN. LESS. THAN. FIVE. WEEKS.

• Transform the office into a second nursery. The upstairs of our bungalow has two virtually identical rooms; Christopher was using one for an office and he worked hard moving his stuff out. There still is some work to do - mainly sorting and boxing up some leftover stuff - but we are pleased. We will add a rocker to the corner (a gift from my parents) and some room darkening fabric to the curtains.

•  Transition Zoe to one afternoon nap. I wanted her on a solid schedule before the baby arrived and she had been toying with dropping one of her naps for a while. We just decided one day to keep her up til after lunch and she did well with the cold turkey approach. We've been enjoying having our mornings free and she has been taking great, long afternoon naps.

• Make freezer meals. A few weeks ago, my mom came to visit and I worked on making meals for the freezer. I made about 16 meals and am really happy with that since most should feed us for two meals. In the next month, we'll make some double batches of breakfast-y type foods (oatmeal, pancakes, etc) and freeze those since I think that will really help once Christopher is working during the day. I'm also planning on prepping/cooking a double batch of something every week this month to give us a little more variety. 
• Let Amazon "shop" for us. Since we have Amazon prime, we've added some household things to our subscribe and save list. We've also had a Honest Company account for awhile and have been pleased with that. Hopefully that will help keep us out of Target with two littles for a while. 
• Pack a bag for the hospital. Although it seems obvious, I have put it on my list since I have had labor flashbacks just thinking about what needs to go in it and I don't want to totally put it off.  I also need to FIND our workbook from our birthing class so we can review some things that we didn't get to use during Zoe's labor and birth. And update our birth plan ... pretty much just change the date.
• Unfortunately, both Zoe and Loki can't really understand what is going to happen but we are talking about Baby Brother and have a few things planned to help Zoe with the transition - a baby doll and a new busy board. Hopefully it will warm up enough to allow us to take Loki for lots of walks to help get him into a happy place.  

There are a few things left on our list but we are happy where we stand and know that we will have lots of grandparent help/love when he arrives. We are looking forward to Spring, Easter (talk about bad timing ... being 8+ months pregnant during lent!) and our new baby. 

How is it possible that we will have two babies in less than two months?!?!?!

When we hung this sign upstairs, I inwardly scoffed at the "babies" part of it, assuming that only one baby would ever sleep in the upstairs of our rented bungalow.  I didn't ever consider that we'd have two babies in two years ... that we would transform the office into a second nursery ... that there would be a baby monitor on both sides of our bed. But here we are; God clearly had other plans.

I had no idea what I was doing when we brought Zoe home from the hospital.

In fact, I had no idea what I was doing for awhile. I remember the first time she smiled in my general direction and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I was something more than breasturants, diaper changer and a bouncer.

 

I loved her at hello but it took awhile for me to fall in love with her. It took me even longer to fall in love with motherhood. But we got there. 

And we got here, where the idea of another baby isn't quite so scary. Where it doesn't take two hours of preparation to leave the house. Where she has ways to communicate and we can (kind of) decipher the words that come out of her mouth. Where the idea of a newborn "schedule," nighttime feedings and sleepy snuggles actually makes me excited.

It is strange to think that the baby that was our initiation into the crazy, randomness of parenthood will be the big girl that will be our constant. She will grow up never knowing life without her brother and we will tell her about when it was just her and she was so much fun but we knew there was more to our family.

So we cleaned out the office and put up a second crib. I have extra meals in the freezer and a google docs named "Baby Survival." We transitioned Zoe to one nap and spent a last "babymoon" night away. We have enjoyed our big girl becoming more interactive, creative and independent and we look forward to meeting our little boy.

Life with our toddler (almost 16 month old)

Sleeping. She continues to be a rockstar in this department, blessedly. All night and usually two naps.

Eating. Enjoying fruits, veggies and pasta. Not certain about meat but she tries it. Sometimes eats with a spoon or fork .... messy!!!! If you are eating something she likes, you better finish before she does because she will ask for your portion. Still drinking milk from a bottle but she has finally learned how to drink from a sippy cup without choking so we will soon work on the transition.

Walking. Running. Climbing. Dancing. 

Playing. Consists mostly of taking everything out, playing with any single item for 2 seconds and moving on. Her favorite things to carry around are a cords and a vodka bottle. The last month has brought a love of stuffed animals - puppy, lamby and a pink bunny that she calls "meow-me" (which was the name of her sitter's cat). At times, she will sit and read books at length, either by herself or with us.

Words. She talks so confidently and loudly you would not know that most of what she says makes no sense. She says our names and seems to have a word for Loki, along with her puppy and mewme. She tries to say "thank you" and "that?" regularly. She points to her feet/toes, nose and head/hair when asked.

Fun. She is more fun every day. We love watching her learn, listening to her laugh and helping her explore her little world. Every day is a gift.

She no longer sits still long enough to take good pictures but Auntie Gina got some good ones at Christmas-time:

Survive

I have thought a little bit of what my "word of the year" should be and each time I come up with the tongue and cheek answer of "survive." I think there will be a lot of days this year where we simply put one foot in front of the other, where we go with the flow and just try to make it til bedtime.

Most of the time I am slightly terrified of adding a baby to the mix; it feels like we just got things figured out with one kid. The reasonable side of me knows that it will be alright; that many people do it but the emotional side of me remembers how long it takes to breastfeed a newborn and the many hours we spent bouncing and shhhhhhhh-ing and crying. Zoe may not have been the world's easiest baby but I think she was fairly average. 

There will be a few weeks (I haven't actually figured out how long since it doesn't really matter - it is what it is) where we wont have an income. My PTO and short term disability will be used up and Christopher isn't teaching. Christopher is trying to finish his dissertation this year. And we aren't sure yet what we will do for child care once I do go back to work. The solution may involve me changing hours or changing jobs.

People often ask if we wanted to have our kids close together. The best answer I can give is "we do now." And then, someone says that I am a poster child for getting pregnant while breastfeeding. Thanks. I know. I know. 

Props to the people who have told me that they have done it that it is hard work at first but gets easier. Props to my friends who have reassured me that they loved growing up with siblings close in age.
Props to my new niece who demonstrated how wonderful it is to have a newborn fall asleep in your arms. (I had also forgotten how tiny they are and was reminded that baby boy will be much lighter than Zoe.)

I have been imagining (positive imagery people!) what it will be like to sit and nurse a baby while Zoe is running around and how we can go for walks with the Moby, stroller and Loki. I don't know what Zoe will be doing in a few months but I think she will quickly be getting to the stage of being more verbally redirect-able. I am working on independent play with Zoe and she is doing great. We are coming up with strategies for the sleep loss and planning to make lots of freezer meals. We are redecorating the office on a budget and are getting rid of things we don't need.

By the end of the year, we should be fairly adjusted to being a family of 4 and there should be many many paged of Christopher's dissertation written. We may even have a plan for the next years of life.

"Survive" may seem like a small goal and I know we will do much more than that but it seems like a good place to start.

7 surprising things about cloth diapering

From the moment I learned about cloth diapers, I knew that I wanted to cloth diaper any and all future children. Thankfully my husband was on board when it came to that point and we have happy been cloth diapering ever since. One year in and I'm (oddly) excited about the prospect of having two babies in cloth ... I see it as a challenge ... can we get by with the stash we have? how often would we have to wash diapers? will we like the same kind for our second baby? There are a few unexpected things about the cloth diapering part of our lives:

1. Conversations with my husband like this:

 (while driving)

Hubby: Oh yeah, that is definitely her poop face. She's been making it for a while.

Me: I don't think there is a liner in the diaper ...

Hubby: Which diaper is it? 

Me: The simplex side snaps

Hubby: That's okay, it's not the "cadillac" 

2. Joy when I realize that the stray wet bag I just found is filled with an unused diaper. 

3.  Frustration looking for the stray wet bag that I know has a dirty diaper in it. 

4. When meeting another mom or family that cloth diapers, I'm like "We must be best friends!" 

5. There are people (mainly mamas) who are obsessed about cloth diapers. Obsessed, I tell ya! - the newest print, "bum placement" having a full rainbow stash. I actually left a facebook group because it was too much for me. Now, to each their own but since one of our reasons for doing cloth is financial that actually depends on my not buying any more.

6. It actually helps me keep on top of - at least a little bit - the laundry. Knowing that diaper laundry is time specific (it usually has to be done when it has to be done and we will soon be needing to use those diapers) and knowing that it takes up the washer/drying for a part of diaper laundry day, actually encourages me to get the rest of the laundry done on the off times. 

7. Watching my dad/aka Grandpa fold cloth diapers is SUPER entertaining.

Do you cloth diaper? What would you add to this list??

We don't have many cloth diaper pictures but I like this one the best!

"You are our gift. You are our child."

Dear Baby,

We talked briefly about having another baby but the words still hung in the air when the lines showed up positive on the (five)pregnancy test(s). I said "the odds couldn't have been great" but you are not a number or a statistic, you are our child. I worried about having our kids so close together, about having two babies under two and how it would all work. I worried how I would deal with the exhausting and take care of both you and Zoe. I worried that it would somehow shortchange your sister and you.

 

And then we went to church and I held your sister while she played with my hair and tried to compete with the priest. And I knew then that you are not a problem to solve. You are not a challenge to overcome. You are our child, our gift. I don't need to worry if the car is big enough ... if the house is big enough ... if our bank account is big enough ... or if my heart is big enough.

 

You are our gift.

 

You are not the sum of the number of pounds I haven't lost since Zoe's pregnancy or the number of books we will have to move to put a crib in your Daddy's office or the number of hypothetical hours that are not sitting in my PTO bank at work.  

 

You are so much more than all those things (and in a few years, none of those things will matter). 

 

You are our gift from God.

 

He requires nothing from me than an open hand and heart with a good dose of thanksgiving. It will be hard and we will be tired but it will also be good and beautiful and right. 

 

For now, and for every day with you, I will say Thank You to God who created you and who holds you closer than we ever will. He knows your name; he has it written on his heart, on his hand. You are not a surprise to him. You are His creation that He gives to us for safe keeping.

 

And I am thankful.

I wrote that first bit months ago, when I was scared and surprised to find out that I was pregnant again. Thankfully those feelings quickly changed to gratitude and I've managed not to "schedule" the next several months or make lists of what needs to be done. I have mostly just been thankful (and tired). 

As the tiredness and nausea has faded, I have heard so many people say how great it is to have babies close together and I am looking forward to having a newborn during which the experience isn't totally new. 

We are pretty sure that, as with Zoe, Christopher will find out the sex of this baby and share it with two creatures: Zoe and Loki. He thinks the baby is another girl and I think the baby is a boy. Either way, we will be excited and happy. They will be 18 months apart. We know that it will be exhausting (but that's a trademark feeling of having a newborn baby, whether there are other children involved) but we also know that this is God's plan for our family. 

The baby is due mid-April and I think it will be fun to have a Spring baby this time around.

Our sweet girl who has no idea what the commotion is all about.

Blog-tober Day 23: A guide to your city

A few seasons ago the Bachelor (or Bachelorette) did a hometown date in Milwaukee and, although we don't watch that show, hubby and I watched the bit of the show when they toured Milwaukee and we were pleased to know that we choose the right activities. It was something like a visit to Lake Michigan, a brewery tour and a visit to the Milwaukee Public Market.

Those things are all well and good but if you come to visit us, your visit will look a little different. We live in a part of Milwaukee called Bay View and we LOVE it here. Here are our favorite local gems:

We would go see Lake Michigan but it would be from South Shore Park (bonus points if the farmer's market is going on) or we would take a short hike down there via Seven Bridges Park.

We would eat at some local places like Stack'd (the BEST fried pickles ever!), the Broken Yolk, and Cafe Lulu's which is a short walk from our place. And we would get ice cream from Babes.

And Christopher would give you a tour of our basement where he brews and he would open what we have on hand for you.

=) 


 

Blog-tober Day 18: A tale of traveling

Well, I didn't do great on this challenge but I did blog more so perhaps I can call that a small success. Perhaps it wasn't the best time to do something like this -- more on that later. ;)

Ahhh ... traveling. I traveled quite a bit back when I was single and (ahem) had more money/time and less of a commitment holding me close to home.  That said, I am taking Zoe to Florida next week so I can't complain TOOO much although I wouldn't give up my current "commitments" for all the travel I used to have.

I began looking for pictures and instead found some old blog posts.

Our honeymoon from 2010. 

A girls trip to Mexico in 2011

And, although I have no pictures on my laptop (and am too lazy to go upstairs and get them off our desktop), sometime in the years before I got married, I traveled with a group of girls that I met in Ghana (West Africa) while working with Mercy Ships. We went to New York, Charleston and Seattle and I LOVED all of those trips.  Charleston was my favorite as I enjoyed the history and Southern charm.

Blog-tober Day 9: personality

Introverted or extroverted??

The best way to describe me is "an introvert who can masquerade as an extrovert." I am renewed by time alone or with just a few people but I also get a little bit of energy from being in large social situations. On a scale however, I don't fall really fall on the introverted side.

My Meyers Briggs letters are ISFJ. Introversion, Sensing, Feeling and Judging. My S and J fall pretty close to their counterparts though and it kind of depends on how I am feeling when I take the test since I've had both letters on both of those.

Truth be told, I think it is helpful to think about these things in order to know yourself and others better but I don't like being pigeon holed into a certain "personality type." When people ask me about my daughter's personality, I often respond "She is Zoe."

Interestingly, my husband and I are opposite in most personality tests and we talked about it often at the beginning of our relationship and now again with a little person who has unique needs (consistent bedtime, for example). How do we make sure that Christopher gets enough "people time" and how do we make sure that I get enough "alone time" when there is almost always a little body in the house. It is much easier now that Zoe is on a more predictable schedule and going to sleep early enough for us each to have what we need. 

A letter to my daughter

Dear Zoe,

           

You were born one year ago.

I had no idea what to do with you.

The leaves fell of the trees as we slowly fell into a rhythm.

We swayed and bounced, cried and laughed.

We eventually all got more sleep, which made everyone happier and you began to nurse better/more effectively and that was such a relief! 

You are the best thing that ever happened to me. 

They say that it goes by too fast and in some ways it does and in some ways it seems like you have always been with us. This year of change and growth also sometimes seems much longer than a year. 

You have the sweetest personality and you shower affection onto Loki and sometimes, although less frequently, Mom and Dad. Snuggles are for sleepy times. When you are awake, you are moving.

I am excited to watch you try to communicate more with us and I look forward to talking with you and answering your questions about the world. 

Soon we will read about Laura Ingalls and Anne of Green Gables but for right now we read Hop on Pop (over and over!) and Olivia the Owl. You love books with flaps and textures. You turn the pages quickly and then turn the books over to read again.

 We love you and are so thankful for each and every moment we spend with you. We pray that you will grow up strong in your faith and deep in the knowledge of your Savior.

love,
Mommy

One year statistics:

-18 lbs and 29 inches.
- You can still wear some 9 month clothes, especially pants and you fit well in 12 month clothes. When you wear disposables, you wear size 3 but you mostly wear cloth and they are working well for us.

- Favorite foods: bananas and cheerios! Also really likes mango, cheese, sweet potatoes, broccoli and chicken. Eats a lot!!

- Seven teeth. Two on top, four on bottom with the right molar all the way in and the left one coming. 

- Takes steps, is getting close to walking. (But also does some toe-walking.) 

- Sleeps well. Two naps, 11-12 hours at night. Hasn't been up at night unless she is teething. (SO nice for all of us!)

- Still nursing well, now has a bottle of whole milk after second nap.

- Can say mama, dada, offf offf (barking at Loki), ball and up. Mimics a lot of other words (cup, nonna, baba and various animal sounds). 

Blog-tober Challenge #7: Reading list

My current reading list looks like this: 

The Selection Series

I know I mentioned it last post ... it is an easy read and 

that is what I need before bed. 

Fluffy but not trashy. 

Vally of Vision

A puritan prayer/devotional book that I am slowly making my way through.

I love the simplicity of the prayers. 

That's all!

Blog-tober Day 6: Currently ...

Currently ... 

- I am reading the Selection series and it is fun. 

Kind of like the Ester story and the Bachelor all rolled up in on.

- I am watching Downton Abbey, The Good Wife and Parenthood.

- I am stunned that our baby will be one tomorrow! 

- We are trying out a new, lowered budget and it has been working out okay. 

- I am excited for dear friends visiting tomorrow!

- I am loving the cool weather and the leaves turning color.

- I am snuggling with our old, sweet dog after the baby has gone to bed.

-I am excited for Zoe to dance at a family wedding in a week and a half.

- I am working up the courage to go and start a new bread recipe.
One can never go wrong with America's Test Kitchen.

- We are working through our garden produce.
Squash, pumpkins, eggplants and carrots. Oh my!!

- I am excited to go and pick lots of apples so we can can them for the winter.

Blog-tober Challenge

I am breaking the radio/blog silence to link up with Brave Love's blog-tember challenge (but since I'm doing it in October, would it be Blog-tober??), inspired by my cousin Anne @ Under the Brella (who is also a main reason I am reading more books).
We should live closer.

Anyhoo, lets see if I can revive this small space
(or maybe decide to hang it all up). Time will tell!

Even though it is already the 3rd,

I'm going to start day 1: "About the Author"... like the front cover of a novel

"Rachel is a wife and new mama who works part time as a nurse to pay the bills. She lives in Milwaukee with her husband, a brilliant PhD student, their beautiful one year old daughter and a fluffy black cocker spaniel. Rachel enjoys gardening, sewing and spending time near any body of water."

Not all days are good.

We all have good days - the days and moments that fill facebook and instagram. They look like this: 

yes, I know, ridiculously cute!!

But not everyday can be good because then you wouldn't recognize the good ones. 

There are also days when the ridiculously cute baby thinks that naps are optional, when Mama doesn't feel good and the pile of clean laundry waiting to be folded gets bigger because the baby puts everything in it. (That is where the remote went!)

And that is okay. There will be bad days, there will be days when you don't have time to shower. There will be days when the only way to make dinner is with the baby strapped to your back playing with a DQ spoon because, you know, a blizzard fixes almost everything. 

There are days when you sent out emergency texts to good friends looking for encouragement and when you feel better knowing that many people either are exactly where you are or have been, recently. 

So, have your blizzards, send out those emergency texts and then put the sleepy, clingy, snotty baby to bed and know that tomorrow will be another day!

We are nine months into this adventure called parenthood. If I could go back to those newborn days (daze?) this is what I would tell myself:

"It doesn't last forever." The sleepless nights, the crying, the exhaustion ... it does end. The newborn snuggles, the loooooong breastfeeding sessions, the limp baby sleeping on your chest and through church and in the car. It does end. There is another stage coming; this one is fleeting. Enjoy it.

Related: You WILL sleep again. (And you will miss when she used to sleep anywhere during the day!)

"It takes awhile to feel normal again." Let's face it: you created life, grew it for 10 (yes, 10, don't be fooled!) months and then birthed a baby with a head in the 99.7 percentile WITHOUT ANY DRUGS! You are a rockstar! It takes awhile for your body to feel right again but also for you to get used to not being able to leave the house without your baby or your mind ticking down the minutes to when you have to be home to feed the baby. It takes awhile but you will get there. Soon, you will look for her in the back seat when you are driving alone and you will miss her when she begins to sleep all night. Your body will follow along; give it time.

"You are doing a good job. Zoe is doing great." Tattoo it on your forehead, write it on the mirror or the crib or the fridge. Whatever it takes. You are doing good. Keep up the good work!!

"Have patience with yourself, Zoe and Christopher. I am learning that patience and grace are more important than how we feed her or what type of sleep training we do or what kind of discipline we use. Exercise patience and grace daily!

"It IS hard work but it IS worth it!" 

Do you wanna see some cuteness: