Not all days are good.

We all have good days - the days and moments that fill facebook and instagram. They look like this: 

yes, I know, ridiculously cute!!

But not everyday can be good because then you wouldn't recognize the good ones. 

There are also days when the ridiculously cute baby thinks that naps are optional, when Mama doesn't feel good and the pile of clean laundry waiting to be folded gets bigger because the baby puts everything in it. (That is where the remote went!)

And that is okay. There will be bad days, there will be days when you don't have time to shower. There will be days when the only way to make dinner is with the baby strapped to your back playing with a DQ spoon because, you know, a blizzard fixes almost everything. 

There are days when you sent out emergency texts to good friends looking for encouragement and when you feel better knowing that many people either are exactly where you are or have been, recently. 

So, have your blizzards, send out those emergency texts and then put the sleepy, clingy, snotty baby to bed and know that tomorrow will be another day!

We are nine months into this adventure called parenthood. If I could go back to those newborn days (daze?) this is what I would tell myself:

"It doesn't last forever." The sleepless nights, the crying, the exhaustion ... it does end. The newborn snuggles, the loooooong breastfeeding sessions, the limp baby sleeping on your chest and through church and in the car. It does end. There is another stage coming; this one is fleeting. Enjoy it.

Related: You WILL sleep again. (And you will miss when she used to sleep anywhere during the day!)

"It takes awhile to feel normal again." Let's face it: you created life, grew it for 10 (yes, 10, don't be fooled!) months and then birthed a baby with a head in the 99.7 percentile WITHOUT ANY DRUGS! You are a rockstar! It takes awhile for your body to feel right again but also for you to get used to not being able to leave the house without your baby or your mind ticking down the minutes to when you have to be home to feed the baby. It takes awhile but you will get there. Soon, you will look for her in the back seat when you are driving alone and you will miss her when she begins to sleep all night. Your body will follow along; give it time.

"You are doing a good job. Zoe is doing great." Tattoo it on your forehead, write it on the mirror or the crib or the fridge. Whatever it takes. You are doing good. Keep up the good work!!

"Have patience with yourself, Zoe and Christopher. I am learning that patience and grace are more important than how we feed her or what type of sleep training we do or what kind of discipline we use. Exercise patience and grace daily!

"It IS hard work but it IS worth it!" 

Do you wanna see some cuteness:

 

Five Minute Friday: Mess

I'm breaking my seven month bloggy hiatus to write a five minute Friday post because that seems like a good place to start. 

MESS

Life changes drastically seven months ago with the birth of our beautiful daughter, Zoe. Our small house has been engulfed in a baby mess ever since. Some days are easier than others to look past the mess and gaze into the blue eyes that stare up at me as, once again, my body gives life to hers. Some days it's hard to overlook the rattles, animals, diapers and tiny socks that are strewn all over. When I do, however, I begin to see the many lessons my daughter has been teaching me. She hears her daddy talk and stops whatever she is doing until he comes to her. She knows when her guardian, Loki, is climbing the stairs to her room. She enjoys morning snuggles before starting her day with gusto. She likes to read in the quiet time before bed. She smiles big in the morning and every time we get her from her crib. 

The most important thing in the world to her is us. We are her center and her compass ... given her as a gift to teach, guide and laugh with/at while she grows. 

And the mess? It doesn't really matter. 

Pregnancy Q&A take 2

I'm just going to jump right in:

1. How are you feeling?
I'm not sure anyone who asks a woman in her 9th month of pregnancy how she is feeling really wants to hear the answer. My generic answer is "uncomfortable." My main complaint is that my hands and feet hurt from the extra fluid and blood I'm carrying around. Did you know that a pregnant woman's blood volume increases by 50%? or that a pregnant woman has about 3-4 pounds of extra fluid, NOT amniotic fluid or anything associated with the baby ... just extra fluid ... just because. Thankfully the swelling is normal and not a sign of pre-eclampsia which is probably because Christopher has been forcing encouraging me to eat enough protein. Note to self: when you take your husband to pregnancy/birth classes, he's going to become an encyclopedia of pregnancy, labor and birth knowledge. (Lots of protein in a pregnant woman's diet is proven to drastically reduce the risk of per-eclampsia - and several other things, ask Christopher is you are interested.)

2. Are you ready? 
This is a loaded question since I don't have a real good idea of what life will be like with a baby. But the baby's room is all set up, we feel like we have an idea of what to expect during labor, we know who will take care of Loki and I have a bag half-packed on our bedroom floor.

But there is more to it than that. We'll leave the hospital with an infant - our infant - who can't do anything for him/herself.  Every so often one of us asks the other "how to you ____ (bathe a baby, for example)?" There's a lot about babies that we don't know and while we know we'll figure it out, we also know there will be a learning curve ... and that grandmas and the internet will be there to help. 

This question is usually followed up with the statement of "you'll be great parents" or something to that effect. The truth is, though, parenting probably wont come naturally. Like anything that involves self-sacrifice and another person, we will make mistakes and we will learn from those mistakes. In the same way that it takes work to have a good marriage, we are committed to do the work it takes to be good, responsible parents for our child.

3. When are you due? - or - You look like you've dropped. - or - Any day now, right?
Ugg. Baby's due date is Oct. 6th, next Sunday. And yes, I have dropped and yes, it should be any day now. But it may not be. It could be two weeks from today. And 14 days is a long time to think that you could have a baby today. Statistically, more first time moms go late than go early. As much as I'd love to have this baby TODAY, I keep reminding myself that I'll probably still be pregnant on my due date. We are in the midst of planning some fun things for the weekend so we don't just sit around and wait.

4. You still don't know the gender?
Nope, and yes, Christopher still does know the gender. =) Everyone (and I mean everyone - even my patients and people at the store) who sees me has an opinion ... boy/girl, low/high ... I don't really know how they make the determination. It makes more sense to me that the way one carries a baby has to do with the mother's body and if the baby is her first or subsequent and how the baby is positioned inside.  Almost all the unsolicited opinions say boy. I made a baby pool (you can go here to make guesses) and our family and friends lean very slightly towards the boy side too. I guess we'll all know soon.

in the nursery

Well, that's it. Either there will be a baby picture up soon or an update about the plan on how to encourage baby to come out!

Dear Amoeba

a letter to our unborn child

You have been many places little one. You've been to Arizona when you were multiplying cells, my only inkling being heart burn which was the first sign of my first pregnancy also. You've been to Kansas City to visit your uncle when you were still your daddy's and my secret.  You've been to your grandparents homes in Hastings and Rochester, to visit family in Wisconsin and to Crooked Lake. You've been hugged by your aunts and uncles and by our friends who we will call your aunts and uncles.

You are loved.

Even though no one except God has seen you yet and no one (except God and your daddy) knows your name, you are loved.

We can't wait to meet you although we know that it will be pretty disruptive for you to leave your free floating home and be pushed through a tiny hole into a bright noisy world. But, let's face it, we are both getting pretty uncomfortable and I think it's time your dad gets to carry you around all day. I bet you'll get pretty good at kicking him in the ribs too.

I am excited to hear your little voice and to watch your personality develop. I hope you have your dad's ears and that you are a lefty like him ('cuz that would make him SO happy). I hope you like to read and wear your dad's poor boy caps. I hope your first word Loki ... although I know it's realistic that at first you will see him as a black blob that makes loud noises every so often and he will see you as an intruder. But really, I want you to be you. And if you don't like to read or if you don't like Loki, we will find out what you do like and we'll teach Loki to keep his distance. I always want there to be room for you to just be you.

We don't know much about this parenting thing and we know that we'll need a lot of grace and forgiveness for the mistakes that we will make. We don't know how to teach you the important things about life and will rely on God to use us or to teach you these things in spite of ourselves. There are so many things for all of us to learn but at first, we'll settle for eating, sleeping and changing your diaper.

I believe that you are a gift and will be thankful for your life for the entirety of mine. I know that you - without a name on your birth certificate or a social security number - matter and are intimately known by God. Every day of your life is known by him. I pray that you will come to know his character and his love and seek his will for your life.

I don't know how long it will be before our bodies together decide that you are ready to make your entrance into this world. Your birth will be our first accomplishments together - you, me and your dad. And, just like eating and sleeping and teaching you about God and the world, birth will be challenging and hard and will stretch both of us (pun intended) but in the end we will know that it is good and that it was worth it.