Garden saga, part 1

Inspired by this book, we decided to build a raised bed garden this year. Christopher worked hard building the garden plus a little bit extra and we ended up with a nice 4x12 bed. He also built a small 2x4 bed for some friends to put in some herbs.

While looking around for some soil - we wanted a mix of good compost and top soil - we came to the problem of how do we (with a fairly small car) haul well over 1,000 lbs of dirt back to our house. The big bags of soil are usually about 40 lbs and we'd need like 30. That just seemed like a lot of work and one could argue that a pregnant lady shouldn't lift that much (although the dr recently told me that I don't have a lifting "restriction" at this time in my pregnancy). In addition, buying compost in bags can be fairly expensive. So I found a local company that sells a compost and top soil mix especially for vegetable gardens. The price seemed reasonable and they delivered.

The two week wait seemed super long when I wanted to put our plants in the ground.  But the "soil guy" delivered our black gold yesterday and Christopher then hauled the dirt from our parking space to the garden using a 5 gallon bucket. Who needs a wheel barrow??

We had started some herbs and a couple of veggies from scratch:

Our helpers while planting. The red dog is our little friend, Lucy.

Progress!

I had planned our garden on paper but, unfortunately, the wait meant more time for me to dream about what else we could do and I bought a couple more plants and seeds that didn't really have a home.

Around this time I wondered if everything would fit. It didn't.

So yesterday the plan was altered slightly and I still have to go out and create a map of what actually went in. Who plants things is rows? Not this girl! We'll see how that works out. Oh, and those are strawberries on the side!

We are going to see if some herbs will come back as perennials with some love and mulch over our cold winter. (There wasn't really room in the garden for them anyway.) Most of the smaller plot is barley seeds for beer.

 Speaking of beer, Christopher's hops are racing up their poles. We will eventually run string from the front porch down to the poles and the hops should go up it. Hops don't produce much the first year but he should get plenty next year for all his brewing needs.

 It looks like today will be a nice day and there are still a few things to do. I have several herbs in small containers that need to find a home and I'm going to prep some soil in the front to plant carrots, beets, garlic and maybe lettuce, all from seed.

Birthday Surprise

The last time my husband told me that he was "cooking something up" for my birthday, he got a bunch of our friends and family together and they gave me the MacBook that I am typing on.

This time was a little bit different.

Maybe I should have figured it out when he told me that all our friends (who are students) had a mandatory lecture the evening of my birthday. Marquette usually doesn't have mandatory lectures, especially in the summer.

Maybe I also should have figured it out when my sneaky husband told me he wasn't going to said mandatory lecture. 

Or maybe I should have figured it out when my husband cleaned the bathroom and lite candles while we were talking with his family on google chat.

And maybe I should have known that something was up when he told me that my birthday gift was in the backyard, where we had just spent the afternoon working on our yard and garden.

But I didn't and he surprised me and we had lots of our friends over for ice cream.

It was a pretty great day.

Five Minute Friday: Dive

Two posts in one night?!? Linking up over here with the Gypsy Mama.

Dive {Start 0112}

Several years ago we were merely acquaintances with out a clue about how our lives would intertwine. We were both invited to a friend's cabin. It was summer but the night we decided to go swimming, the water was cold.

I dove under the calm/freezing water, not knowing that I was really diving into a relationship that would shape my life.

And afterwards, we sat on the end of the pier, each wrapped up in a towel, looking at the stars. We sat there til we couldn't feel our toes and our breath turned to steam. We sat there long enough to know that we both wanted more.

{Stop 0117}

Happy {almost} three years, baby! 

Decoding Christopher's PhD Program

Taking a break from the seriousness to give some information about Christopher's program - and what he'll be doing for the next few years.

Christopher says that while nursing has abbreviations for just about everything (CAD, OOBTC, UCI), theology tends to make things as long as possible (Augustine's description of theosis and response from the second ecumenical council. Okay, I totally made that up; I hope no one judges me.)

Anyway, for the next few years, we will spew out a couple of abbreviations that have a great impact on Christopher's school and, therefore, our life: DQEs and ABD.

Chris just finished the two years of coursework for his program. The next time he'll be in a formal classroom setting, he will be teaching in some way. I consider this the first big step of a three step program.

Now, he starts studying for his Doctoral Qualifying Exams (DQEs). Basically he'll collaborate with his professors and study til November when he'll be locked in a dismal room for two days where he will write essays to answer five questions. (This is step two.)

Then, we'll go on big, nice vacation.

After that, he will start researching and writing his dissertation. ABD stand for All but dissertation (not to be confused with abdomen); I think it goes like this: Christopher Brenna PhD ABD. But I think it's misleading - "All but dissertation" makes the dissertating part seem small when really it's a big deal and involves jumping through many flaming hoops while writing a book. (This is step three.)

Then he'll defend his book dissertation and we'll throw a big party. 

And then, once he gets a job, he'll be a professor and will teach students about Augustine, theosis and ecumenical councils (but probably not all together).

Five Minute Friday: Ache

Today I'm linking up with The Gypsy Mama, using her prompt to write a post that has been forming in my head for awhile.

Go {0700, yep, I'm up early!}

I sit on the couch with a tow-headed toddler, the son of a Marquette student who I just met. We read about Luella the Ladybug seventy four times as his blond curls brush my cheek. The room is buzzing with activity: friends celebrating a baptism, students talking about scholarships and qualifying exams, and moms discussin due dates, car seats and sleep schedules.  I don't know why he choose me, a stranger in a sea of strangers but I was grateful to settle in under the din and read about Luella.

I remember riding to the party, clutching my husband's hand and, with tears stinging my eyes, praying that I'll be able to enjoy a party that centers around a baby when we know that one wont be joining us in nine months. I was surprised at the emotions that surround finding out this time and, despite our prayers, the band around my chest tightened, the physical ache behind emotional pain. 

The ache lessons with acknowledgement -- to my husband, to friends who care and to co-workers who also wish they could "drink the magic water" - and it begins to lift through prayer. But on that Sunday, as the conversations swirled around us I found comfort in the the little hands turning the pages and the promise of God's faithfulness.

STOP {0707, almost!}

Dear Christopher John

You sleep in our bed, steady and true.
The house is quiet but evidence remains ...
Dishes from dinner, bought by you and prepared by me.
Loaves of bread, brown and high,
new year's goals in practice.

Papers ready for tomorrow, to talk about our financial future.
Loki's bone left in the living room while he sleeps on his own bed.
Theology books, yarn and fabric on the couch.
A game on the floor, to be continued.

Your breathing increases and decreases, like rhythms of life.
Sometimes adventures, traveling and a new city.
Sometimes walking the dog, studying, baking and playing games on the floor.
All with you, by your side for as long as God gives.

Advent, finals style

The reality about being a student's wife is that the alternate personality of December is finals madness. This caused a bit of a conflict for us last year as I have been removed from finals madness for many years and also had some expectations about what our first Christmas together should look like. This year, we are both much for realistic. We have discussed the amount of work that Christopher has to do and have planned the time that we will spend together. I have spread out the Christmas things and am now almost done with shopping (about 90%) and am ready to send out our Christmas cards today.

We also decided to change things up a little bit - the advantage of being {somewhat} newly married - and create our own traditions. Because our time before Christmas is generally busier than the time after Christmas, we decided to try our own version of "the 12 days of Christmas" with the 12 days being from Christmas to Epiphany, Jan 6th. We aren't really sure what those days will look yet, but so far our ideas involve giving each other some small gifts, making a meal for someone else, volunteering in our community and connecting with friends. I'm excited with how it is all going to work out.

This week is the first week since the beginning of Nov that I have not worked overtime. YAY! I celebrated by spending time with friends - knitting and then dinner and gingerbread house sight-seeing at the Milwaukee Public Market - and have been visiting the gym again.

I am also reading three books: Preparing for Jesus an advent book by Walter Wangerin Jr. I read this book last year and loved it. Matched, a teenage novel about a dystopia (is that a word?) society that controls everything. And The Story, the Bible told in stories. Some of the chapters are "Noah's Boat," "A Few Good Men ... and Women," and "No Ordinary Man." I thought it would be a good review of the stories and the connectivity of the Bible.

Tonight we are going to a Fish Fry with some friends, other students and their significant others, proof that students can have some fun even during the end of the semester crunch.

Gratitude List #1901 - 1917


And for your viewing pleasure, the best of the Gingerbread competition:

My favorite, the three little pigs, because it is creative.

Just in case we forget WHY we are all here.

 

New school year and a new job

#1748 - #1778

- Books on every flat surface of our apartment
- lunches packed for work and school
- coffee for early morning day shifts
- rides to work =)
- finding commonalities with new friends
- time to read and journal
- inserts for my shoes that make my foot feel better
- seeing friends who return after the summer
- talking with a PhD student whose wife is also an ICU nurse. (i didn't meet her, but just talking to him was like finding someone that spoke my language in Theology Land)
- a coffee and doughnut, no alarm clock morning

- healthy, local food gracing our table

- being part of two house blessings
- good food made by good friends
- planning fun things for the fall (canning and a trip to a quilt museum)
- a 2 year old's giggle
- being welcomed by new people at work
- acknowledging that I am a little anxious about the responsibilities of my new role
- praying
- finishing some sewing projects - gifts (we have several friends who are pregnant)

taggie blanket. my friend's request

burp cloths. i am in love with that fabric (but not so much with the chenille I used on the back)

- text messages from my husband, telling me he is coming home
- evening prayers
- giving Loki a hair cut and he did so good which is not always the case
- good sleep
- giving and receiving forgiveness
- tomatoes from my plants on the patio
- Christopher's creative, frugal meals
- taking some time to slow down after a busy summer
- an honest conversation with Christopher about what it takes for me to be involved in discussions about school related things
- learning about Constintine
- iced mango tea

One Year

some thoughts about various things after almost exactly a year living in Franklin:

Work. It turns out that I really enjoy working in a tiny hospital. I love knowing that the radiology tech makes honey from the bees in his back yard and the details about a co-workers Germany trip with her Opa. I love that my co-worker brings me fish that he caught a few days before and that another co-workers makes pancakes for the whole hospital in the middle of the night.

It would be nice if we were busier ... which doesn't necessarily mean that I hope that people get sick ... it just means that I hope they come to our unit instead.

This week I am orientating and transitioning to the nursing supervisor role. I will work two shifts a week (still nights) as the supervisor and one in the ICU. This new role will technically makes me "nursing leadership" and the first person the other nurses will call when they need something ... anything - a prospect that both excites me (the problem-solving/nursing resource part) and makes me anxious (the "ummmm .... i think we have a patient in labor in the ED" part). However, I think that both the excitement and anxiety makes me eager to learn.

Life. Shortly after we moved to Franklin, Christopher and I took some sort of stress inventory and scored off the charts, which is what happens when you get married, leave your job and start another, move while your house is still on the market in a town 300 miles away and your husband starts doctoral school, all in about 8 months. It goes without saying that life now is easier and that the stress response has dwindled. We enjoy our apartment and have made some good friends here while still being able to see our family and friends in MN. I am thankful that we have worked to maintain and grow relationships over a distance and, at the same time, have been driving down roots with the people who will be by our side for the next several years.

It took some time to adjust the expectation that life in Milwaukee would be the same as life was in Rochester and, once I stopped looking for the same things, I became fulfilled with the new. We have lots of "couple friends" now and the habits and dynamics of "couple friends" are vastly different than our large, fairly fluid group of friends in Rochester. (that subject maybe deserves a whole other post.) We have settled on a church to attend after searching around for a church situation similar to the one we left. We have exchanged the numbered road system of Rochester for memorizing the streets that cross through Milwaukee and the suburbs. We have grown to love our multi-generational Bible study and fellowship after leaving Salt and Light.

And now we enter another school year with a better understanding of what to expect ... what we need to do to keep our relationship strong and fulfilling, how much work Christopher has to give to school work, what Loki needs from us to be happy and what it takes for us to grow and maintain relationships.

I have learned that when I am tempted to pack things up and run back to the familiar, it is best to go in search of the beauty that it right in front of me. And to give thanks for everything, new or familiar, challenging or comforting, difficult or routine.

About: theology wives

It's the time of year when the new doctoral students and their families are moving to Marquette so we've met several new students and their wives. It just so happens that the female students are not married - so I am not simply ignoring the husbands. =)

I realized today that I have categories for theology student wives, and that I don't consider myself part of any group. It was strange to realize that I was viewing myself by what I have not done. I don't have any sort of advanced degree. I don't work at a church. I don't proof-read Christopher's papers (hahahaha!). I can't really tell you what he is working on; I can tell you what I think he is working on but those two usually aren't the same thing. Most of the time I have absolutely no idea what the other students are talking about. And I think it'd be fun to sit in on one of Christopher's classes someday (one he is teaching) ... and make a list of the words/phrases/concepts that I don't understand.

But I'm not really sure that any of those things are the point. I could spend a lifetime comparing myself to others and never be satisfied. Or I could be thankful for what I have and realistically work to strengthen and improve my life.

I choose the latter.

And I know the truth - that I was made to be here, working by Christopher's side, being a supportive wife who happens to work at the hospital down the road.

And that is good.

I think his mama should be proud

(and I hope that someday our son will be just like his daddy)

 

{A shout-out to my husband}

 

The last two weeks have been nice but busy. We have had several social events planned in the evenings of my days off; we joined a gym; I worked lots of overtime last week; we are leaving on Friday to go to Rochester for several days (insert happy dance here) which means a shortened week here at home. You add all of those things together and it makes for a busy two weeks. Not an overwhelming-I-can't-wait-til-it's over week but a busy one with a slight time crunch to get all needed things done.

 

So Christopher picked up on this because he knows me well and he is observant like that and he just began doing the grocery shopping and walking the dog often and texting me at 4pm to tell me that he knows what we are going to have for dinner and cleaning the bathrooms (a job that is mine usually) and he cleared his study schedule last weekend because he thought I needed more time with him and he wrote me a sweet note in the little journal that we share and he and Loki came to visit me at work one night.

 

Bless his heart.

 

Sometimes (um, finals week) we discuss the divide and conqueror mindset. We have the "how can I help you get through this week" conversations and we both know that it may be rough but that we have a plan to get through.

 

And then sometimes (like this week) I realize that my sweet husband has simply shouldered more of the day to day tasks to make things easier for me. He knows I am thankful for him and all that he does but today I wanted to shout his praises to all ... who read this. =)

 

I think his mama should be proud (and I'm pretty sure that she is).

 

love these two

 

It's been awhile since I posted a gratitude list so this one spans a bit of time.

#1579 - #1607

- the generosity of my family and friends in the tangible gift of a beautiful new laptop

- seeing my friends' babies ... and my friends too!

- being able to tell family and friends in MN "we'll see you in a few weeks." This will be a common occurrence over the summer

- night shift e-mails to my friend working elsewhere

- the "summer weather switch" finally turned on in Milwaukee. (Loki is exhausted with the adrupt change in temps)

- kissing on the beach

- sand from Lake Michigan between my toes

- trying to convince Loki not to be scared of the water (in his defence, it was cold and wavy and he is scared of just about everything!)

- my trusty chacos

- long shadows from trees

- fans and ac

- cook-outs with friends who work some magic on the grill

- a huge pile of thank you notes ready to be send off

- lunch for $10 a piece downtown. (we were supposed to go with friends but that didn't work out so we had an unplanned date instead)

we always take pics of the food

- getting free pots from my parents to plant a mini potted garden. For some reason I had scraped the whole idea of a garden earlier since we don't have a yard but now I'm super excited to try a potted garden. And, hey, since I'm already late to plant things, may as well wait another week so I can get lots of free pots from my parents. =)

- a nicely planned trip to Sam's Club. spent exactly as much time as I wanted to and spent less money than I thought I would.

- making gifts for summer birthdays

- first trip of the season to the farmer's market

- easily navigating through Milwaukee several times in order to avoid construction

- finding out that friends are pregnant =)

- dinner with my grandma finished off with some wonderful tapioca pudding

- knitting with bright yarn

- a week without overtime! (hopefully the whole summer will be without overtime)

- a free cool new coffee mug for work (thanks Eva!)

- just a few days til we see the Butz family!

- my sweet husband coming to visit me during a slow evening at work and bringing me something to do for the patient-less night ahead

- green grass, green trees and summer flowers

- our unit moved across the hall to accomodate some construction and now we get to see beautiful sunrises in the morning

Breakfast at the Brennas

In our stage in life of night shifts and doctoral school, breakfast together is something of a rarity.

But this weekend found us both home, the weather cold and rainy and the school books tossed to the side (err, in the office, actually).

And my husband makes some yummy french toast.

So we had breakfast around lunchtime, watched a few movies and didn't leave the apartment except to take care of the dog.

It was lovely, delicious, and a great way to re-charge batteries flattened by school and work.

Breakfast together is one of my favorite things to do with Christopher. I enjoy lingering in the morning together and the tone that it sets for the day. I hope that when we do have kids, breakfasts together is as much of a family tradition as dinners together.

So what is your favorite meal with your family?

About: learning contentment

For many years I have thought that I have lived while waiting for the "next big thing." Job. Trip. Weekend. Relationship. The excitement and preparation of the future overwhelmed the days before it. Several times I wrote in my journal that I wanted to be present more -- to not simply wait for what was coming next. I worried that I would miss out on now, always hoping for the future ... looking for something else that I could not define.

The change has come gradually. Gradually over the last year or so I have been learning about contentment, and in turn joy. I attribute a few things to this change.

I have been married for a little over a year and I have been accepted in a way that I have never before been in my life. My feelings. My likes and dislikes. My habits. My thoughts. I have been challenged to make myself known by a man who accepts what he finds out about me. And so, in kind, I also have been identifying and accepting myself. God's love is reflected to me through my husband and that has changed how I view who I am.

I am learning that I am enough, a truth that allows me to accept who I am but also the disappointment and pain that sometimes comes. And joy. When I free myself from being something or someone else, I open up to what is already there.

I have been counting my blessings. In the practice of gratitude, I have found life. In the small, every day, seemingly mundane things I have found joy. I no longer look ahead to find fulfillment. Instead, I see the excitement of the future as well as the beauty of the present, the two blending and moving together in such a way that sings to my soul. And, sometime in the last year, the practice of gratitude, became a habit. It is a gift; little snapshots of everyday gifts ... a movie reel of blessings. I also think that by being content in the present, the past and the future will have the appropriate meaning - memories and excitement will blend with the beauty of everyday, strengthening both.

And now I believe that life is less about seeing the whole world and more about seeing my world.

As Paul wrote many years ago, contentment is learned. And today I am thankful for that lesson. (Blessing #1355)

Philipians 4: 11 - 13
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Year Old Wedding Cake

Today we took the top of our wedding cake out of our freezer, unwrapped the layers of tin foil and saran wrap and ate some surprisingly yummy (but very slightly freezer burn tasting) cake. It survived a ride in the cooler across Wisconsin and has been taking up precious space in our small freezer ever since we have moved here. It was on one of my old dishes (which I am now not sure what to do with) and even Loki agreed that it was, indeed, yummy. We did decide, however, that the last remaining bottle of wine from our honeymoon - a Rodney Strong Cab - deserves a better reason to be opened (Ahhhem, my handsome chef). 

But a lot more has changed than our physical location and corning wear. 

It is interesting to me that on the anniversary of the second most romantic day of my life (the evening we got engaged is first), my most prevalent thought is "I am so glad we are friends." I think that maybe the wedding frenzy and the honeymoon eclipsed what attracted me to Christopher Brenna in the first place: I really really enjoy spending time with him. 

Yes, I love his heart and I think he is handsome and hilarious and one of the kindest people I know. Yes, I love the part of me that is alive and whole because of him. Yes, I love how he challenges and encourages me. 

But I also love that when we are done with our weekend vacation, I get to go home with him. I love that after my trip to Mexico (in two weeks!!!!!!), I will say goodbye to my friends, get on a plane and fly home to him. I love that I am excited to spend whatever time we get together: dinner before I go to work, breakfast on a lazy morning or playing a week-long game on our kitchen table. 

Yes, I love him ... but I also like him. A lot. 

And while our relationship has survived a move across Wisconsin and a mass exodus of several kitchen items, at the end of the day, I am holding his hand ... usually on the couch with our black peanut between us and I am happy.

Our first date (Anniversary post, part 2)

Little known fact: Christopher and I had our first kiss before our first "date." Scandalous? um ... no ... really, it is us. let me explain.

 

We started dating on a pretty normal day. We had talked about starting to date (after a few months of hanging out. all. the. time. Ask any of our friends) and we had prayed about starting to date so when he asked "so, do you want to date?" I said yes. We then went to the dog park, played Rock Band, had dinner with his parents and climbed out his window to look at the stars.

 

Somewhere along the line, we decided to do something memorable for our first official date. You could argue that the day we actually decided to date was our first date - or you could argue that the first evening we hung out alone and went for a walk along the river was our first date - but we decided that we could determine when our first date was and so we did. It is basically similar to things now, we have dinner together every night but once a week or so we decide to have dinner and call it a date.

 

We decided to go to this Pizza Farm in WI, this family run operation, only open on Tuesdays and they make pizza with ingredients grown/raised on the farm and cook them in brick ovens outside.

 

We got rained out the first Tuesday we tried to go but we were undeterred. And so the next week, we "packed" a picnic basket with a small salad and ice cream sandwiches and drove over the river to WI. We got a little lost on our way, going through Whitewater State Park on our way to Stockholm, WI, across the river from Lake City. I wish I could draw a map and show you how far lost we were but I am not that tech-ie. Later on in our relationship we would learn that if he drives and I navigate, we usually get places better/quicker/easier. But it was a beautiful summer evening, our love was budding and we didn't mind the drive.

 

That did mean that we got to the Pizza Farm a little later than we had planned which was significant because the line was now well past the dirt driveway to the farm. We ordered and was told that it would be a two and a half hour wait. Now normally that would be outrageous but we had just driven about that long and the Pizza Farm had a reputation so we set up our camping chairs on the edge of the farm away from all the people and watched the sheet graze. We named a few -- something very majestic but I can't remember what now. Part of the deal at the Pizza Farm is that you have to bring your own utensils, table, drink, etc. As we ate our ice cream sandwiches (because they were melting and we were hungry), we realized we hadn't brought utensils. Some mis-communication had lead us to believe that the other one was bringing these. In hindsight, it was probably my job as I brought the rest of the food. Later on in our relationship we would learn to be more specific about such things.

 

So, we left the pizza farm and drove back to a gas station and got some forks and napkins. We used a tupperwear container from the trunk of Chris' car as a table and hoped the little candle Chris had brought would last while we ate. As we waited, a group of people began singing songs from Wicked. The pizza did eventually come, we did have enough light to barely see it and it was really good. And, like I said, it was a beautiful summer evening, our love was budding and we didn't mind the trouble of our first "official" date.

Our first kiss (Anniversary post, part 1)

This weekend marks our first anniversary so I could write about our wedding or our honeymoon but I did that, just last year, here and here and everything I said then still applies. Instead, I am going to write three posts (dare I call it a three part series?) about our first things. =)

I had been planning to have dinner in Eau Claire with three nursing school - life long - friends, their respective husbands and one (miracle) baby. My good friend, Laura, was in WI, visiting/home from Okinawa and we found a night that worked well for all of us to meet, which was no small task.

Chris and I had been a few weeks weeks and the debate in my head went something like this: "On one hand we have only been dating a little while and I'm still not sure what is right/acceptable/reasonable to ask for at this stage in the game. On the other hand, I think this may get serious and this is a convenient, and possibly the only, time for him to meet these friends. It would be nice for these girls to have a face/personality to put with him."

I talked it over with Chris and he said he would love to come. (If there were bonus points, this would totally have earned him some.) And so one afternoon, after I had worked a day shift, we drove over to Eau Claire. I don't really remember what we talked about during dinner --- probably about life in Okinawa, Kristi and Jeremy's recent wedding, and little Isaac (i.e. the miracle baby). I'm sure it was great to see them, but, honestly, I don't remember much about that dinner.

On the way home, I remember laying my head on his shoulder and holding his hand while he drove. We went to Chris' house first, because I drove, and I went in for a little bit even though it was late and I had to work the next day. Later I would label that summer of 2008 "the summer I fell in love with Christopher Brenna (and didn't get enough sleep but that didn't matter at all because I was all twitterpaited.)" And as we said goodnight, we stalled by the front door - think the stalling scene from "Hitch" - although I like to think the stalling was mutual - Chris asked if he could kiss me. I said yes, and he did. I had been nervous for our first kiss - it was my first kiss - but it was wonderful. (hey, that's all I'm going to say: his mom and sister read this after all.)

I went home and my roommate asked me about the night. I gushed and was tongue tied about Chris as I attempted to verbalize how I felt ... or something like that. She paused when I was done and asked "How are your dear friends that you haven't seen in ages?" And I sheepishly lowered my head slightly and said "Oh yeah, they are good too ... "

=)

And a few pics because now I'm nostalgic:

Christopher and I that evening, convenient, huh?

Kristi and Laura, Okinawa Trip 2006

Before Kristi and Jeremy's wedding

I love you girls! But, obviously, I also have a soft spot for Christopher Brenna.

list of fun things =)

In other news, Chris is done with his first semester today; he'll turn in his paper this afternoon. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay! If you ask him what he is going to do during his month-long break from school, he would tell you that he is going to cook great meals and clean the apartment - basically take care of me when I am working. I hope there will be some of that but I also hope there will be some evening walks in the snow, a trip to our favorite park and an ample amount of board game playing.

 

In the mean time, though, his parents are coming to visit and we are going to go see Handel's Messiah by the Milwaukee Symphony. I am blessed to have a good, mutually enjoyable relationship with my in-laws and when we said goodbye to them after Thanksgiving and his mom said "maybe we'll see you before Christmas ... " it just made my heart happy. And now they are coming. tomorrow. another yaaaaaay!

 

Other fun things on the docket: a quick trip to the Dells to see a dear friend who is willing to drive 2 plus hours just for lunch. A trip to Oshkosh to visit my grandma on her farm. Getting a small tree for our apartment. And our first ever "Christmas Breakfast" - which I want to come up with a stellar name for because if it is a hit, we'll hopefully make a tradition out of it. And that is just in the next few weeks, don't get me started on the next few months 8-)

 

And, of course there are things to be thankful for.

1129. safety in the snow. The "blizzard" was less intense here 'cuz the rain we got the whole day before hand made the snow too wet to blow around like crazy.

1130. getting one of my car doors open when I thought they were all frozen shut.

1131. my fun Christmas scrub top - a pleasant change to my all green scrubs, another throw back to my Mayo days (incidental blue is the one color we can't wear)

1132. figuring out why I was so tired (nope, not pregnant ... actually/oddly just needed to sleep a little less)

 

side note: every time I write something that I think could possibly be interpreted as a slight suggestion that we are pregnant, I want to clarify that we aren't. So, just so you all know - you people who I love and e-mail me at the unintentional hint of a baby brenna on the way - when I want you to know, you will know. I will not hint around or hide it in the middle of a post. You'll know. I promise. So I'm not going to clarify any more . Okay dokie? (hmm ... baby brenna does kinda have a cute ring to it, huh?)

 

1133. Christmas carols. on pandora. on the radio. in stores

1134. snow covered evergreen trees

1135. Loki's boots. We are looking for a jacket for him 'cuz OUR routine to get ready to go for a walk looks something like this: put on long underwear and warm pants. Pull on sweat shirt and winter coat. Find hat, scarf and mittens. Bundle up. LOKI's routine to get ready looks something like this: Find boots. Find the 4th boot. Put on boots.

1136. Yoga. I heart yoga.

1137. phone dates. I heart phone dates

1138. my warm bed in the morning

1139. on-line shopping

1140. forming new habits: flossing, drinking enough water daily, keeping our kitchen table clean

1141. warm mittens

1142. soup simmering on the stove

1143. crystal light drink mix

1144. Christopher's words of truth lovingly spoken when I am discouraged

1145. a semester behind us

1146. kisses from my husband

1147. Yoga being interrupted because Loki thinks that since we are playing on the floor we should be playing with him

Multitude Monday: the wordy version

1015 -1017: Quiet nights at work. Yes, I may say that I am bored and wish for busier, sicker patients (only health care professionals can wish for people to be sick and it isn't odd) and I will be happy when that time comes but I am also enjoying the time to sit, think, read, write (type) and talk. I do my best thinking at night (hence the name of this blog) and the last couple of months are no exception. And I'm reading a book that is rocking my world: Strong Women, Soft Hearts by Paula Rinehart. (thanks Gina for the suggestion! You are 2 for 2 -- did you know I was counting? Crazy Love is next!)

 

1018 - 1021: Choosing what is important. When I work consecutive night shifts, I wake up around 4pm and am on my way to work by 6:30pm, leaving about two hours of time to see Chris and do a few things. That also leave some time for me to decide that I'd rather make dinner with Chris than finish putting away the laundry from last week. I'd rather sit on the couch with him than make sure my hair is perfectly straight. I'd rather bike with Loki than putter around on-line. If I only have two hours with my love, I am determined to make those one hundred and twenty minutes count.

 

1022 - 1026: Going to Rochester. After I sleep and Chris is done with class today, we are driving to Rochester (i.e. home) where we will see some of my favorite people, eat at my favorite restaurant and do a few of my favorite things. We'll also finish some paperwork to sell our house on Friday. I think the next few days will be as much about closure as long hugs, good food and laughter. And I get to spend several hours all strung together when I am awake in the same place as my husband -- major bonus.

 

1027 - 1034: That brings me to the next one: Christopher. I find so much security in knowing that I am known, listened to and cherished by him. He knows what makes me happy, what helps makes working nights easier. He takes care of Loki, makes me fantastic meals, spends awhile holding me in the morning while I fall asleep and sends me sweet, reflective e-mails when I am gone. He is wonderful and the way he selflessly loves me gives me a glimpse of God's love.

One Year ...

It has been a year since I started counting up to 1,000 gifts and I completed my goal this week. That is roughly 2.7 things to be thankful for every day (which actually doesn’t sound like all that much right now).

A year ago I sent my first gratitude list to my old roommate working on the Africa Mercy and somewhat stealth-ly started this little journey. This week I walked through the woods and the leaves crunched beneath my feet, so many leaves that, at times, it was impossible to see the trail but for the opening in the trees, and our little black dog panted contently at my side and I reflected on the significance of my year of being thankful.

I now know that simple things can be rituals that fill my soul: tea or coffee in my favorite cup in the morning, morning prayers, open windows, post-night shift mornings that find me curled up next to Chris, sitting with Loki on my lap, farmer’s market produce, individual time with friends.

I have found that cataloging the things I am thankful for has made me more aware of the things I really enjoy, I have found what makes me tick: coffee with friends, snickerdoodle cookies. working out with Chris, the changing of the seasons, playing in the dirt/doing yard work, knitting, making dinner for friends, having a clean kitchen sink and getting real paper mail.

These things happen every single day, they make me happy and remind me of God’s generous and abundant provision.

I think being thankful has caused me to be more present, in a in-the-moment sort of way. For many years, I have had a sense that I was waiting for the next “big” thing … event … trip … life change ... something. During this year I have focused on enjoying today, weather if be a laundry/house work/mail tending to sort of day or a crazy/fun/adventure filled sort of day. Both are needed: one is like the kidneys of life (taking care of business) the other is like the brain of life (where the magic happens). And who’s to say that taking care of business can’t also be magical? If you talk to a human anatomy prof or a renal doc, they may beg to differ that the magic happens in the brain but that kinda thwarts my analogy right now so I’m not going o go there. Anyway, I have managed to find the magic and gifts in the everyday and I consider it a blessing to be on this journey.

I am happier and more content and it so simple to explain: I encounter God everyday by being cognizant of the gifts that surround me.

I hope that when I am 82 my list will be long … 20,000 gifts … 50,000 gifts … I’m not sure what is realistic.

I hope I will teach my grandchildren the importance of being thankful and maybe they’ll say “grandma, you were alive when they had blogs?!?!?”

I hope that my grave stone will say “grateful child of God.”

But most importantly, I hope I will give thanks in all things and for all things and that the spirit of thanksgiving will lead me closer to the Giver.

And so …

1001. this past year

1002. God’s generous and abundant provision

1003. street lights on a dark road

1004. the sky right before the sun sets

1005. the so quiet doggy on mornings when I am sleeping

1006. a near-perfect work schedule for next month

1007. attending a new biblestudy

1008. listening to a little girl read a Psalm

1009. connecting with a couple … before we moved, Chris and I didn’t really meet many new couple friends so it is novel we realize that we both really like the couple we just met and that feeling seems mutual as dinner invitations hang generously in the air.

1010. listening to majestic music while running errands

1011. the little things Chris does with and for me

1012. feeling loved and cherished from said things

1013. hearing my dear friend talk about her new motherhood

1013. finding "our place" - a beautiful park on Lake Michigan

1014. losing Loki's ball in Lake Michigan ('cuz he simply wouldn't fetch it) and being reminded of a similar incident on a super fun date when we were still dating. (Loki took the loss of his ball much better than Cinder's did though ... but we did eventually get Cinder's ball out of that little lake in Lanesboro)

Hope you all have a beautiful, blessed weekend!