"The Lord himself will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

It hurts when dreams end. 

There is no answer to the question of "why" and there is no reason to be found by our human minds.

Letting go is a painful process. 

Praying for God's will is sometimes easier than accepting it. 

When all you want is to see the reason behind a circumstance,

believing in His faithfulness takes trust.

I am nearing the end of a journey that didn't end as I had expected. 

My prayers were answered differently than I had hoped.  

I don't understand and it hurts. 

  But the pain and grief brings comfort and strength. 

And there, in the stillness, just within my reach, is a little thing that makes today seem easier and tomorrow look brighter: 

hope

 

 

And my dream?

It is now a dream that I will always dream. 

One that I laid safe and secure in His hands. 

Things I am loving ...

Dear flowers, thanks for brightening up our table and for being a constant reminder that our family loves us. 

Dear Tipi CSA, we get our first box next month and I could not be more excited. Here's to a summer of figuring out how to eat all the veggies that you send us!

Dear hummus, today I made you successfully for the very first time, thanks to our ninja warrior blender. =) yay!

Dear Loki, although you somehow manage to rip apart toys that claim to be "indestructible" and then proceed to throw up the stuffing, I don't think I have every loved you more. (note: that has nothing to do with the barfing.) I love your obsession with peanut butter jars and the way you jump onto my lap whenever I sit on your favorite chair. 

Dear 894-94 interchange tunnel, I am so happy that you are now open as it makes Christopher's commute to school so much quicker! Even though we already decided to move closer to Marquette this summer, I am glad that we can enjoy the fast drive for a couple of months.

Dear The Firm, two episodes in and I am hooked! Thanks for having all your episodes available on-line and for simply being awesome.

Dear Selah, thanks for the oldies but goodies that have been playing on my laptop today. So encouraging.

Dear red quinoa dish (with shrimp, asparagus, red peppers and toasted cumin vinaigrette), #1) you need a new name. #2) I wish I could make you without using every pan I own. #3) I am so glad that I tried combining a few recipes from this site!

Dear Spring, thanks for your sunny days and cool evenings and for being a present reminder of the new life that we have because of Easter.

Dear Whitnall Park, regardless of the time of year, you always bring your A-game.

Dear next week, we aren't really sure what to expect while we entertain our nephew and niece for the week but we've been looking forward to it for a long time. We are excited to act like kids and enjoy Discovery World, some TBD kid movie and maybe some arcade action. Hopefully they wont have to remind us that we are the adults!

Dear Christopher John, there is no one that I would rather have by my side, especially during these last few weeks. As the semester comes to a close, I know that you will work hard while still being a good husband, dog owner, friend and uncle (skills you don't often get to use). I love you more than ice cream every day of the week and more than all of the things above.

- THE END -

{once again, letters inspired by Today's Letters}

Some unexpected news last week has me spending the weekend in Milwaukee instead of going to Baltimore to visit a friend as originally planned.

Our apartment is a disaster (will someone please call in FEMA?) but it makes for a good analogy of life right now. 

We need times when we work hard and don't touch the laundry on the floor. We need times when we pack up and drive home, returning literally just in time to go to work and we eat food my mom sent for two days til we have time to buy groceries. And then we need the times when we, slowly but surely, go to the store, put away the laundry and change the sheets.

We need times when all we can do is process the information given and the emotions that accompanies it. We need times when we run into the open arms of family and friends. And then we need times to slow down, reflect and trust in the comfort and faithfulness that God provides.

Hopefully this weekend will bring calmness to both my apartment and my heart.
 

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

Christopher is gone for a couple of days and he left me some yummy Indian rice and food. In return, and because I love him to pieces, I made him some honey oat bread. 

I should have taken into consideration that one pan was bigger than the other.

Not perfect but good nonetheless. How do people get their loaves so perfectly shaped? 

Loki spent the most part of yesterday evening waiting for Christopher to come home - he has an internal clock that goes off at 5pm. Thankfully sleeping seems to have reset this clock.

Seven random things about life now

1) I gave up Facebook for lent. I had been thinking about a trial separation from Facebook and lent seemed like a good opportunity. So, what have my thoughts been so far?

I do have more time and while I have found some other things to waste it on, I have also been more productive. =) I noticed that a lot of my "interactions" with friends were on facebook and I want to put effort - away from my computer - into my relationships of today; my current co-workers, my friends, my husband and God.  That said, I do miss seeing some updates: pictures of friends' babies, updates from my sister-in-law about their life and kids, etc, and updates on my cousins lives.

2) I went to Eau Claire last week to visit some girlfriends from college. I stayed overnight along the way so I didn't have to go the nine hour trip in one day and then we had lunch and took turns holding their babies. It was wonderful to get away for a short while and see old friends and would have been incredibly relaxing if not for the winter storm that blanketed everything in white and made driving stressful for half of my drive home. 

3) My husband has taken over the task of being our social coordinator lately. I am absolutely in love with conversations that start with him saying "so and so are coming over for dinner on Sunday. Do you want to have this or this?"

4) I have worked lots of overtime lately, including one day shift. I may never work another day shift again. For reals. But, aside from that, it has mostly been pleasant. I have been put in several situations (i.e. conflicts) that have given me some insight in how I respond to things at work. Also, I have been reminded that I really like my co-workers.

5) Many of our friends had babies in Jan and Feb so I spent some time making baby gifts.

{a nursing cover from this tutorial}

and I made a few hats for klove and cure international's knit pray love campaign.

6) We gave Loki a new toy that claims to be indestructible. At first we called it "ducky" but he didn't seem to understand that, probably because it sounded too much like "Loki" so now we call him "Howard."

7) Maybe it's spring fever or the fact that I have been land-locked and adventure-less for too long but I've been day dreaming and doing some research about going on vacation: a cruise, Hawaii, the Florida Keys. If all works out, we'll take a nice vacation in the fall when Chris is done with his qualifying exams. For now, we are going to have a mini stay-cation this Friday night and I am awaiting April which will see me flying to Baltimore.