On a Clear Night

About: cousins

2012-02-10T22:40:00.002-06:00

{written a couple of weeks ago}

On Friday night we dropped Loki off at "the sitters" knowing that he would get a huge bone, four walks a day and two nights on the couch. We watched a movie sans pooch and left the popcorn dropped on the kitchen floor for him to find on Sunday.

On Saturday morning we drove South through flat Illinois to my cousin's house outside of Bloomington. We were greeted by two girls wearing skirts and their little brother in striped pajamas.

For the rest of the weekend we held hands and tousled blond hair, watched Despicable Me, tested out flowery hand sanitizer and listened to the big sister's songs about historical events (yes, impressive). The oldest called Christopher "Buddy," the middle taught us about hello kitty and the littlest monkey-climbed his way up everything.

We talked with my cousin and his wife about theology, politics and parenting (we filed some info away for later). It was rewarding to have the relationship that used to be about playing Annie Annie Over around G'ma's small garage and spoons around her kitchen table once a year grow up. We talked about our families, discussed the homeschool co-op that they are a part of and toured the construction site (soon to be apartment complex) that my cousin manages. We talked about adult things - because, after all, we are adults. =)

And it was good.

Dear Christopher John

2012-02-01T00:18:00.001-06:00

You sleep in our bed, steady and true.
The house is quiet but evidence remains ...
Dishes from dinner, bought by you and prepared by me.
Loaves of bread, brown and high,
new year's goals in practice.

Papers ready for tomorrow, to talk about our financial future.
Loki's bone left in the living room while he sleeps on his own bed.
Theology books, yarn and fabric on the couch.
A game on the floor, to be continued.

Your breathing increases and decreases, like rhythms of life.
Sometimes adventures, traveling and a new city.
Sometimes walking the dog, studying, baking and playing games on the floor.
All with you, by your side for as long as God gives.

Loki

2012-01-14T00:58:00.001-06:00

I love my dog.

There. That is my disclaimer for writing a post entirely about Loki.

He hurt one of his legs the other day. And my response to his pain was different than I thought it would be. I'm a nurse so I see people in some kind of pain basically every day I work. Now, I view myself as an average-ly compassionate nurse and I do what I can to help alleviate whatever is ailing my patients. But, when all the tricks have run out, I give my patient the call light and tell them that I hope whatever I did helps whatever their suffering may be and I leave the room and continue about my shift.

My response to when my husband is in pain is usually "take an advil and let's see how it is in the morning."

So I was a little surprised when my dog's pain brought tears to my eyes and was all I could think about for awhile. Maybe it was because he relies on us to care for him (an argument that could be made for my patients and my husband in a sense); maybe it was because he couldn't really tell us what was wrong. Whatever the case, Loki's pain made me sad and worried.

He seems fine now though and when he went to the vet for his shots yesterday, he was declared "fit as a fiddle."

So, when, during into our walk today, he began limping, I was distressed. Granted, it was a little humorous when he started hopping about on three legs, but after about a block of watching this, I gave in and began carrying him home. And yes, I did feel a little stupid carrying my dog those couple of blocks. But I thought it was worth it - until we got home and he walked just fine. Maybe he just didn't like the snow ...

Wimp.

Home

2012-01-14T00:10:00.001-06:00

The last year and a half I have had a hard time defining home.

I struggled with it in this post, soon after we moved and since then, I have kind of waffled between calling Franklin home and calling Rochester home.

We visited Minnesota last week and I remembered where I was from ...

and I knew where I am to call home.

I walked with Loki along the Zumbro (a little river in Rochester)

and I found the place where Christopher and I sat when we first talked about getting married.

I thought of how our life has changed in the last two years.

and of God's faithfulness.

I know that I will always call Rochester home,

in the same way that I will always call Hastings home.

I bought my first home, developed lasting friendships and fell in love in Rochester.

And all those things I take with me (except the house, thankfully!)

Rochester will always be a part of my past - and my future.

But for now, Franklin is home.

And in my journey to find home, I have also found contentment, joy and strength.

I think I will always struggle when our life changes but I can look back

and see God's faithfulness in the these years and know that

in the most important way, I will always be home.

This picture reminded me of the reflection in a puddle picture that my sister in law posted earlier this month.

Photo Challenge ... finish or fail

2012-01-05T22:21:00.001-06:00

ummm ... I didn't really finish my photo challenge

that I started in ... ahem ... November.

But here are some pictures that I took to finish it off.

My sister in law is doing a photo challenge for the new year,

one picture a day.

Not me but I will enjoy her pictures!

Something Orange

Faceless Self Portrait

Sunflare

Animal


yes, he's under there ... i know, he has it rough

From a Distance

Close up

Flowers (??)

Black and White

okay, all done! clearly taking - and posting - a picture every day is too much for me.

In fact, the most inspiration I have had lately has come from Whitnall Park.

Maybe this week will change that ...

End-of-the year thanksgiving

2012-01-03T16:53:00.000-06:00

this was titled "Christmas thanksgiving" but that would imply that I actually would post it around Christmas. now it's longer and I changed the name.

1918. Advent and the promise of new life, given for us and to us
1919. working with some pretty amazing people
1920. a phone call from my cousin, inviting us to visit in Jan. I was touched that she remembered our conversation from this summer and am excited to visit and see their kids.
1921. Christopher, who works hard a school and finished the semester well!!!
1922. Loki's little winter jacket. he is so cute!
1923. the first snow of the season
1924. tis the season ... for clementines!
1925. making Christmas gifts
1926. having enough time off to go see our families over Christmas
1927. a Christmas party with friends. nerf guns = cool
1928. music
1929. our second Christmas - making traditions for our little family
1930. a whole month of no classes for Christopher! In the interest of full disclosure, this also means several weeks that i don't have to do the cooking. =)
1931. the beautiful babies that my friends are having.
1932. good weather to drive to MN
1933. and a husband who drives while I sleep
1934. spending Christmas Eve with my family ... seeing my brother for the evening even though he was on "main call"
1935. Christmas carols sung by a choir
1936. Loki opening presents.
1937. skyping with the Butz family. Can someone please tell the kids to stop growing?
1938. thoughtful gifts from family
1939. being a push-over when it comes to Loki. I've decided that sometimes it is okay, besides, I really can't resist his brown eyes.
1940. amazon's awesome customer service.
1941. seeing extended family at my grandma's.
1942. knowing and expressing my emotions to friends.
1943. giving away knitted gifts (mainly headbands but I also made a tie for my brother and he says he really likes it)
1944. sleeping after busy nights at work.
1945. extending our Christmas til Jan 6th with dates and gifts and fun.

well, i think there will be pictures in the next post. =)

2012 goals

2011-12-30T15:39:00.001-06:00

(in no particular order)

Make bread.
I changed this from "Make bread consistently" because my husband is a little doubtful that that is a good goal. But after looking at bread that is a week past it's expiration date and noticing that it still looks okay and wondering how, whatever is in that could possibly be good for us, I am determined to try. Without a bread maker. With good quality ingredients.

Make a quilt. =)

Have one internet free evening a week and one internet free day a month.

Increase our giving.
We saved well last year and we would like to continue that and focus on our giving this year.

Continue our "state of the union" weekly updates.
This fall Christopher and I began weekly discussions about our marriage, our goals and what we are doing to reflect those. Turns out he is energized by the "big picture" and I am energized by actions toward goals so we are making time to talk about both ... works out pretty well, don't you think?

Research CSAs and hopefully find a good fit for us.
We will continue to buy mostly organic eggs, milk and meat and I have plans to improve my little garden this year. I was given a canning pot and I will can this summer again and there is chatter about a marathon tomato canning session with some work friends. Basically, I think we will eat really well this year!

Finish memorizing Colossians. have the first chapter memorized and have three left.

Be more intentional about building relationships.
This is a vague goal but my ideas include: having lunch regularly with my grandma, write letters (like real, snail-mail letters) to several people who I think would really enjoy that, figure out how to invest in relationships at work (this has always been very difficult for me), and put more time into my friendships here.

I'll be working over New Year's ... hoping for a couple of uneventful nights at our suddenly busy hospital.

Happy New Years and many blessings to you and your families!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-26T08:53:00.003-06:00

We have spent the last couple of days driving through WI, attending a candlelight service, feasting on food prepared by our moms, eating cookies for breakfast, skyping, and spending time with family. Loki has helped us unwrap gifts and is my constant companion while at the Brenna household, as we think he knows that I didn't initially live here. We will see some friends and make some yummy cake pops before going home sometime tomorrow.

I am thankful for my co-workers who worked their holiday rotation and for a long weekend off so that I could spend Christmas with my family. I know that many people - whether from work or distance or illness - don't have the opportunity to be with their loved ones. It is a blessing to come "home" to connect and relax.

I hope that you and your family had a wonderful Christmas as well.

Of the Father's love begotten, err the worlds began to be,
He is Alpha and Omega, the source, the ending he
Of the things that are, the have been, and that future years shall see.
Evermore and evermore.

Oh that birth forever blessed when the virgin full of grace,
By the Holy Ghost conceiving, bare the Savior of our race,
And the babe, the world's Redeemer, first revealed his sacred face
Evermore and evermore.

O ye heights of heaven adore him: angel hosts, his praises sing;
Powers, dominions, bow before him and extol our God and King.
Let no tongue on earth be silent, every voice in concert ring
Evermore and evermore.

Christ, to thee with God the Father, and O Holy Ghost, to thee
Hymn and chant and high thanksgiving and unending praises be,
Honor, glory and cominion, nd eternal victory
Evermore and evermore.

Amen
(Corde natus ex Parentis, Aureluis C. Prudentuis, 4th century)

Photo Challenge: a sunset from the summer, 13 things and eyes

2011-12-17T03:55:00.000-06:00

Day 12: Sunset

It's a little difficult to find a sunset when you need it.

So, instead, a sunset from the summer:

Day 13: {yourself with} 13 things

Since I already "broke the rules," I choose to just do the 13 things on my bedside table, sans me.

1) lamp 2) alarm clock - that fails to wake me up most of the time 3) thermometer

4) electric mattress pad control 5&6) Bibles 7&8) small books 9) hair clip

10) work tape 11&12) earrings - that replaced my favorite pair that I lost on our honeymoon

and 13) body butter jar

Day 14: eyes

Christopher's eyes - from a drawing that was given to us for our 1st anniversary (which is paper) by Christopher's sister

You know you are working too much when ...

2011-12-16T14:30:00.003-06:00

At the gym today my heart rate was 147 and I had flashbacks of monitors (notice the plural form of monitors) with a red, alarming 144 next to the messy ekg (heart rate) tracing and I had to remind myself that 1) I had a normal high heart rate (sinus tach), 2) my blood pressure was just fine, 3) I was breathing normally and 4) I was calm (not horribly restless and anxious).

So, I'm curious, what is your "I'm working too much moment?"

Photo Challenge Days 10 and 11: Christmas memories and something blue

2011-12-11T18:43:00.001-06:00

the candle is blue =) and the elephant is in my bathroom because my husband collects them

Photo Challenge: a surprised Christopher

2011-12-09T19:49:00.001-06:00

Day 9: Someone you love

Had I actually been doing this as planned, this would have landed

right around Christopher's surprise birthday party.

Photo Challenge: Unfinished business

2011-12-09T19:45:00.001-06:00

Day 8: A bad habit
Seems fitting after doing this challenge for about a week

and then falling off the map. =)

But I do have a bad habit of leaving things unfinished

around the house. Thankfully, this doesn't

seem to bother my hubby too much.

Advent, finals style

2011-12-09T09:36:00.001-06:00

The reality about being a student's wife is that the alternate personality of December is finals madness. This caused a bit of a conflict for us last year as I have been removed from finals madness for many years and also had some expectations about what our first Christmas together should look like. This year, we are both much for realistic. We have discussed the amount of work that Christopher has to do and have planned the time that we will spend together. I have spread out the Christmas things and am now almost done with shopping (about 90%) and am ready to send out our Christmas cards today.

We also decided to change things up a little bit - the advantage of being {somewhat} newly married - and create our own traditions. Because our time before Christmas is generally busier than the time after Christmas, we decided to try our own version of "the 12 days of Christmas" with the 12 days being from Christmas to Epiphany, Jan 6th. We aren't really sure what those days will look yet, but so far our ideas involve giving each other some small gifts, making a meal for someone else, volunteering in our community and connecting with friends. I'm excited with how it is all going to work out.

This week is the first week since the beginning of Nov that I have not worked overtime. YAY! I celebrated by spending time with friends - knitting and then dinner and gingerbread house sight-seeing at the Milwaukee Public Market - and have been visiting the gym again.

I am also reading three books: Preparing for Jesus an advent book by Walter Wangerin Jr. I read this book last year and loved it. Matched, a teenage novel about a dystopia (is that a word?) society that controls everything. And The Story, the Bible told in stories. Some of the chapters are "Noah's Boat," "A Few Good Men ... and Women," and "No Ordinary Man." I thought it would be a good review of the stories and the connectivity of the Bible.

Tonight we are going to a Fish Fry with some friends, other students and their significant others, proof that students can have some fun even during the end of the semester crunch.

Gratitude List #1901 - 1917

And for your viewing pleasure, the best of the Gingerbread competition:

My favorite, the three little pigs, because it is creative.

Just in case we forget WHY we are all here.

2011 Goal Recap

2011-12-06T21:23:00.001-06:00

Way back in Jan, I posted about my goals for 2011 and I'm sure y'all want to know how I did.

Buy organic meat and dairy
We did pretty good with this, not 100% but as our budget would allow. Our definition of dairy in the capacity is basically just milk and eggs. Everything else is just too darn expensive. But it's a start. We got two batches of beef from a local farm and it tastes so much better than all other beef.

Open an Etsy store
Done and done. I also have a few things in a consignment story up in Cedarburg and have sold several other random things to friends and family. Now I'm busy making some Christmas gifts.

Save
Well, our goal was mighty and we think that we will fall a little short. But there is still a month left and some overtime money left to collect. We have saved a lot though and are really proud of the decisions we have made. Our envelope budget system continues to work well for us and Christopher does an awesome job balancing our finances and figuring out where it all goes.

Have a potted vegetable and herb garden
I hesitated to plant anything (I think because I was in mourning over not having my yard) but once I got over that I did pretty good. I learned a lot about growing stuff in pots and about growing vegetables in general. Just about everything needed more room than I gave it but we still have a nice showing of tomatoes, peppers and herbs. The herbs did great and I had hoped to continue to grow some inside for the winter but they were not agreeable to this plan.

Learn how to can
This was kinda lumped into the garden goal but I am pretty proud that I learned how to can this year so it deserves it's own category in the recap. I did successfully can salsa, spaghetti sauce and applesauce. The salsa and the applesauce turned out great; the spaghetti sauce is a little ... um, smoky because I burnt the bottom of the pot (which was just a hot mess to clean up). Next year I will do salsa and diced tomatoes along with the applesauce. It was a lot of work but now that it's winter and we are eating "fresh" salsa and applesauce, it was worth it.

I am thinking about my goals for next year --- they involve connecting, baking and more craft-ing.

Do you make yearly goals? what are some of yours?

Cumin Quinoa and Black Rice

2011-11-30T18:19:00.001-06:00

Tonight I made Cumin-Scented Quinoa and Black Rice from Bon Appetite and it was delicious. (in all blog-fairness, the recipe was featured on this blog, which is a pretty awesome blog)

I recommend that you try it. The recipe and the blog.

A few notes about the recipe though:

1. Quinoa does not equal couscous
2. Black rice does not equal white rice
3. Confession #1: I made this recipe the first time with couscous and white rice. It was good but using quinoa and black rice may be instrumental in making cumin- scented quiona and black rice.
4. When the recipe says to rinse the quinoa, it's a good idea to do so.
5. Confession #2: I have never cooked with quinoa and have a hard time pronouncing it correctly (it is tricky!).
6. I made it while Christopher was in the other room studying and it smelled a.mazing. I also was listening to Christmas songs and it was very enjoyable.

Delicious!

Giving thanks ... for the whole month ...

2011-11-18T08:46:00.001-06:00

So, it's a long list, without pictures but FULL of blessings.

Speaking of pictures, I will continue my photography challenge ... soon. Life kinda got in the way and I have no qualms about leaving this tiny corner of the internet quieter so I can spend my free time with my husband, dog and friends while I work some overtime.

#1846 - 1900
- tears shared with friends
- giving thanks as a community, even when it is hard
- accepting change,
- holding firm to God's promises
- praying for friends
- hearing our friend say that my husband is a good listener. i know. =)
- a doctor who listens, summarizes, makes a good diagnosis and gives good/conservative recommendations. (the primary care doctors I have encounters thus far have exceeded the expectations set by Mayo doctors. I think this is either a)because they are not residents b) there is A LOT of competition here - between health care systems and doctors or c) a coincidence. Whatever the case, I am happy to find a good primary that we like.)
- answers
- antibiotics
- coffee with a friend
- a parking ticket because it meant i spent more time than anticipated with my friend.
- my husband, giving the man walking by his coffee when the man asked
- planning/scheming/getting excited for Christopher's surprise party
- lots of firsts at work; gaining confidence as I deal with new situations
- friends having babies and friends who are going to have babies.
- my manager calling me while I was working to see how things were going because I haven't seen her recently.
- getting some feedback at work
- my mom and my mother-in-law helping and planning the details and amazing food for Chris' party
- the way my father-in-law greets me with a huge smile and hug
- friends coming to celebrate my hubby
- realizing that I don't view our Marquette friends as our "new friends" anymore; now they are just friends. =)
- Christopher's look of shock, evidence that we pulled off a good surprise
- Eva, coming all the way from Rochester for the party and one night
- and her accordion rendition of Happy Birthday. LOVE
- Loki and Penny (Eva's tiny little dog) are friends!! If you have ever seen Loki with another dog, you will know why this is noteworthy. Other people are okay. Other dogs, not so much. It made me sooo happy that he was nice to her!
- an extra hour in which to watch Thor
- breakfast with my parents
- organizing the office. Let's be honest: it has never ever really been organized. Now the books are on a brand new huge bookshelf and my craft stuff is organized in the corner. It looks great!
- being on call during my overtime shift
- warm pear cinnamon cider from Trader Joe's. I'm in love and just may have had a cup every day this week.
- birds flying south
- curling up with Loki on a cold day
- apples grown just down the road
- my husband, all handsome in a sweater vest
- being told that I handled a situation at work well
- overtime money that goes into our savings. We are sooooo close to make our saving goal this year but we think we'll be just a little short. (more on the progress of my 2011 goals later)
- co-workers who give me rides to and from work so that Christopher can go to school or study or sleep. And it also makes it possible for us to work out our schedule with one car. I am so grateful for their willingness to give me rides!
- one really busy night at work. for my co-workers who were working and the pieces that were in place as our first night shift emergency occurred in the hospital.
- knowing that we all worked really hard and having the patient's family acknowledge that as well.
- our patient's loving family
- hearing from every person involved that it went really while and also identifying some areas for improvement
- time to decompress with my co-workers
- our new night shift nurse practitioner. ohhhh, words can't express
- dinner with friends, both planned and spontaneous
- Christmas shopping on-line. pretty sure it was made just for me.
- quality time with my husband, carefully planned during our busy week and really important
- warm, fuzzy slippers.
- knitting, creating new things that were simply yarn earlier
- Loki's big brown eyes
- my husband's mad cooking skills
- my co-working bringing me coffee =)
- time to spend with my family this weekend
- warm coats, gloves and hats
-

Photo Challenge: angles and apples

2011-11-07T22:14:00.000-06:00

Day 5: Something from a high angle


roasted onion and squash pizza. yum!

Day 6: Something from a low angle


Turns and Taxis

Day 7: Fruit

We live in WI and are trying to eat more local food. So now we are eating a LOT of apples.

"You are under the power of Loki!"

2011-11-07T21:57:00.000-06:00

I was out walking Loki today when two small boys asked if they could pet him. (Loki is a kid magnet!)

I said yes, that he is nice.

The boys asked his name. Loki.

"Like Thor's brother?" they asked. Yes. (I just watched Thor yesterday)

Just then a UPS truck drove by and the boys started shouting:

"Come back bus! Bring something for us! Come back bus!"

One of the boys pulled an imaginary sword from his sheath and went running after the truck, yelling "By the power of Loki, I command you to stop!"

The other boy followed, sword also drawn (with a light saber sound effect), "Thor commands you to turn your truck around!"

The truck driver, having another stop, or maybe, responding to their powerful commands, stopped a few houses down. The boys jumped around on the sidewalk.

"You are under the power of Loki!" "Bow to Thor and Loki!"

THE END

***Also could be titled "the power of imagination"***

Photo Challenge: clouds and a green{ish} thing

2011-11-04T16:00:00.000-05:00

Day 3: Clouds

via here

oh, you mean something that I took:

since the sky has looked like this for a few days, you get tree and clouds

Day 4: Something Green


I am totally in love with this yarn.

Photography Challenge

2011-11-02T14:37:00.003-05:00

I am joining my sister-in-law for a Nov 30 Day Photo Challenge, originally from here. Thirty days with a different photo topic.

Day 1: Self Portrait

Day 2: What I wore today

LOVE my slippers (a gift from Chris)

and that it is cool enough to wear them!

Plan B

2011-10-24T21:05:00.000-05:00

Key to the following phone conversation:

Blue = the security guy's words

Green = my words

Red = my thoughts

"Hi this is Rachel"

"Hi, this is so-and-so from security. I am wondering if you think any of the patients will die this weekend."

... crickets chirping {silence} ...

"I'm sorry, did you say you were from security?"

"Yes, we are having trouble with the morgue refrigerator again and the guys from maintenance aren't going to be able to fix it til Monday. So, I am wondering what the Plan B is."

... more crickets ...

well, there are many other refrigerators in the building ...

how cold do you think it is outside?

it's a small hospital, let's just roll the dice.

this certainly doesn't seem like a problem that i can fix

"Well, to answer your question, all the patients are doing fine right now. And I will talk with the funeral home if it comes to that."

"Okay, thanks"

work hard. play hard.

2011-10-17T15:47:00.001-05:00

giving thanks #1831 - 1845

- a fun Monday with Loki: bike riding, playing and snuggling. During that day, I swayed his affection pendulum back towards my side, which was a little futile since I basically worked and slept the next three days. It is not a competition, which side he lands on (mine or Christopher's) we just notice and comment on who he prefers.

- knowing that after a busy day at class, Christopher usually needs food and quality time in the form of an easy shared activity. While I didn't greet him at the door with a beer in hand, the laundry was done, there was a plan for dinner and hulu was primed with Parks and Rec
- working hard some days.
- some days just working.
- being woken up with kisses when I sleep through my alarm
- dinner ready as I am getting up
- a little bit of alone time to adjust to the idea being awake
- nice chats with co-workers
- an unexpected evening of alone time; i spent the time sewing and reading
- my brother coming to visit with Honey Dip Doughnuts and coffee. yummmm.
- an evening with friends, making a delicious dinner - handmade ravioli with a variety of insides
- deciding to get out of bed for church
- meeting new people
- an afternoon at an apple orchard, and then making and canning applesauce

our afternoon went something like this:


pick apples

tackle apples in our kitchen

try to convince Loki that after ALL the apples, there were no more left for him

So far this week looks like it may be a repeat of last and that suits me just fine. Now if you'll excuse me, my hubby is working hard at school and I have my end of that bargain to hold up at the house.

about: learning how to be a supervisor

2011-10-14T16:32:00.000-05:00

a few tidbits and thoughts from the last few weeks:

Always ask questions. Always. When someone calls in sick: what is your last name? where do you work? When someone calls that I don't know: what number can I reach you at? When I am asked to find something that I don't know what it is: what it is used for? what does it look like? what kind of packaging does it come in? any idea where to find it? When I am told about something that seems odd: is there something going on that I should know about? As a staff nurse, things just magically show up and I usually don't get the backstory when I am told to do something. As a supervisor, I am the scavenger-hunter and I don't only get to hear the backstory, usually it involves some kind of action.
I don't like going to the basement or the surgical areas of the hospital in the nighttime. It seems a little irrational, yes, but when I think of the many hallways and stairways and doors that aren't locked, it seems very slightly more rational and more fun to bring someone with me. Usually I go on these adventures to look for something (test strips, coffee filters, strange forceps, etc.) and in that case, two pairs of eyes are better than one.
People really like it when you help them and I really like to help people. So whether it's giving a cab voucher to that patient in the emergency dept (ED) that just has to leave right now, starting an IV, giving meds or transporting a patient, I feel useful and my co-workers feel helped. And that makes me happy.
Knowing how different departments work gives me the ability to help them work a little better with each other. When I know why the nurses in the ED do something a certain way, I can explain that to the med/surg nurses and hopefully help lower the frustration level.
Did I mention, always ask questions? more information is always better.
As with everything at my tiny hospital, this role is unique because our place is so small. So while I'm not sure that this would be the job for me at a big, hopping hospital (i.e. St. Mary's), it seems that it is a good fit for me here.

That's all. Happy weekend.

Fall Fun in Pictures

2011-10-09T20:38:00.002-05:00

I could post my gratitude list or I could write about our great weekend or I could tell y'all about the beauty of fall. But instead of telling you, I'm going to show you.

Enjoy.

at Lake Geneva this weekend

at Whitnall Park, of course.

a little overexposed because of the sunlight but i like it anyway

at my cousin's wedding in Aug

Night shiftin' it

2011-10-07T23:18:00.001-05:00

When I tell people that I work night shifts, their reaction is fairly consistent. They moan, feel bad for me and ask when I will be able to work day shifts. Aside from the fact that I make a little more money working nights and aside from the fact that working nights is convenient because we only have one car, I have begun to enjoy the rhythm of night shifts and also the rhythm that it gives my life.

Granted, there are the very obvious cons (that I'm sure you can come up with yourself) but I have come to really appreciate the other side of the column: the pros.

I have a rather regimented way of sleeping and protect sleeping above all else. I certainly can't say that about when I worked day shifts.
Nights at the hospital are just ... different ... better ... quieter than days. During night shifts there are fewer family members, nursing managers and doctors and I think that is a good thing for nurses. Oh and there are no meals for the patients on night shifts. I greatly dislike meal times; it is soooo inconvenient for the nurse! At the risk of sounding even more jaded towards my career, I'm going to move on ...
I stay up late a few nights a week to prepare for my shifts and I really enjoy those nights. I usually don't do much - my husband is sleeping which limits the housework, my friends are sleeping which limits social activities and stores are closed which limits errands. The introvert in me LOVES this alone time and I look forward to it every week.

It is true that I choose to work night shifts and that, for right now, that schedule works out well for our life. But it is also true that I enjoy them and am thankful for this crazy, random, nocturnal schedule.

laundry (for lack of a better title)

2011-09-28T08:02:00.000-05:00

I argue with my beloved.

over laundry.

Because he didn't do it the way I would have. The way I wanted.

I shut the drying hard and grumble loud so that he will hear.

I see more work created for me instead of my husband answering my request.

He calls out my sin, claims his feelings and I cry tears for his pain, for my pride and ask forgiveness.

And I wonder, If I don't first respond with love to my husband, the one I vowed to love and honor, what then? Where does that leave anyone else in my life? I may not voice my grumblings at work or with friends but the prideful thoughts are in my head just the same.

And sin is sin, whether spoken or silent.

But wait ...

If I first respond with love to my husband, what then?

Then it will be part of my thought process ... a learned part of my response. Learned on bended, grown from a confessing relationship with both my God and my husband.

If I first respond with love to my husband, what then? Where does that leave anyone else in my life?

Kitchen Escapades

2011-09-26T18:03:00.001-05:00

This weekend I ...

canned spaghetti sauce and salsa

and made tomato basil soup

made beef stew is our cool orange dutch oven

made tapioca pudding

made energy balls (aka my first attempt to make a quick, cheap protein bar alternative)

but our apartment smells like laundry because I also burnt the bottom of the pot while i was making the spaghetti sauce and i used laundry detergent to get it out, which mostly worked.

It is no secret that my hubby does a majority of the cooking/meal planning for us but whether it is the fall-like weather or I am embracing my "wife of a PhD student" role with the beginning of the semester, i have enjoyed my kitchen adventures the last few days and have our meals planned for this week. The timing of this is good too as my hubby is a little under the weather. :(

Gratitude List #1817 -
(I wrote my gratitude list old-style on paper the last few weeks)
- perfecting my chai tea (not too much chai and lots of honey)
- cool fall bike rides with Loki
- a nice date night with the hubby, using a Living Social deal
- sharp knives on wood cutting boards
- Loki's stumpy tail wagging
- wearing the new skirt my mother-in-law gave me (after she remembered that my husband commented that my old one wore out)
- holding my husband's hand in church
- local beef and veggies in a yummy stew
- friends. specifically pie-making friends who have us over to eat said pies
- talking at length about my job with a friend who asks really good questions
- finding encouragement to memorize scriptures
- helping my good friend knit =)
- our centerpiece

Happy fall, friends!

Five Minute Friday: Rest

2011-09-03T11:08:00.004-05:00

linking up with The Gypsy Mama; she picks a topic and writes for 5 minutes on it - no edits - just writing. Yesterday's prompt? REST.

Go {10:52}

Rest is a fitting topic for this week, my husband and I have been talking about rest this week, which has gotten me thinking about rest this week.

What is rest?

rest: refreshing ease or inactivity after exertion of labor

So what, then, in my life, is restful?

a good conversation, a walk through the woods with Loki, snuggling up in my husband's strong arms, reading on the patio, studying the Word

It strikes me that all these things are actually active - moving, learning, engaging. While I do find rest in them, they are not still. And perhaps being still is different than being at rest. Perhaps I don't know how to be still. Being still is a strange concept it on culture - we are always moving, always doing. And yet, in the stillness I am most acutely me; not the me that is working, cleaning, doing or moving (although all those things are needed and make up me), I am just me.

Being still, being silent is hard. It's hard to not think of what I have to do next, not think about work, not rehearse my verses from Colossians. Silence is hard for me, but I find rest in it. A rest that is different than a talking/walking/snuggling/reading/learning rest.

And I am learning to like it.

STOP {10:58}

New school year and a new job

2011-08-30T12:23:00.000-05:00

#1748 - #1778

- Books on every flat surface of our apartment
- lunches packed for work and school
- coffee for early morning day shifts
- rides to work =)
- finding commonalities with new friends
- time to read and journal
- inserts for my shoes that make my foot feel better
- seeing friends who return after the summer
- talking with a PhD student whose wife is also an ICU nurse. (i didn't meet her, but just talking to him was like finding someone that spoke my language in Theology Land)
- a coffee and doughnut, no alarm clock morning

- healthy, local food gracing our table

- being part of two house blessings
- good food made by good friends
- planning fun things for the fall (canning and a trip to a quilt museum)
- a 2 year old's giggle
- being welcomed by new people at work
- acknowledging that I am a little anxious about the responsibilities of my new role
- praying
- finishing some sewing projects - gifts (we have several friends who are pregnant)

taggie blanket. my friend's request

burp cloths. i am in love with that fabric (but not so much with the chenille I used on the back)

- text messages from my husband, telling me he is coming home
- evening prayers
- giving Loki a hair cut and he did so good which is not always the case
- good sleep
- giving and receiving forgiveness
- tomatoes from my plants on the patio
- Christopher's creative, frugal meals
- taking some time to slow down after a busy summer
- an honest conversation with Christopher about what it takes for me to be involved in discussions about school related things
- learning about Constintine
- iced mango tea

Summer in Whitnall Park

2011-08-28T00:42:00.001-05:00

We live right next to Whitnall Park, a beautiful, huge park complete with a nature preserve, lots of deer, a golf course, botanical gardens, bike trails and even a little red barn. Today I walked Loki over there often and took my camera to capture the beauty that is - literally - in our backyard.

The waterfall from this post is just a wall of rocks with tiny bit of water trickling through (and it was totally un-photogenic). The brush is tall and the trees are green, ready to lose their leaves. The parking lot was packed with a dozen mini vans, the families wanting one last outing before school starts. And the day is cool enough to wear pants - all signs that fall is near.

One Year

2011-08-25T13:49:00.000-05:00

some thoughts about various things after almost exactly a year living in Franklin:

Work. It turns out that I really enjoy working in a tiny hospital. I love knowing that the radiology tech makes honey from the bees in his back yard and the details about a co-workers Germany trip with her Opa. I love that my co-worker brings me fish that he caught a few days before and that another co-workers makes pancakes for the whole hospital in the middle of the night.

It would be nice if we were busier ... which doesn't necessarily mean that I hope that people get sick ... it just means that I hope they come to our unit instead.

This week I am orientating and transitioning to the nursing supervisor role. I will work two shifts a week (still nights) as the supervisor and one in the ICU. This new role will technically makes me "nursing leadership" and the first person the other nurses will call when they need something ... anything - a prospect that both excites me (the problem-solving/nursing resource part) and makes me anxious (the "ummmm .... i think we have a patient in labor in the ED" part). However, I think that both the excitement and anxiety makes me eager to learn.

Life. Shortly after we moved to Franklin, Christopher and I took some sort of stress inventory and scored off the charts, which is what happens when you get married, leave your job and start another, move while your house is still on the market in a town 300 miles away and your husband starts doctoral school, all in about 8 months. It goes without saying that life now is easier and that the stress response has dwindled. We enjoy our apartment and have made some good friends here while still being able to see our family and friends in MN. I am thankful that we have worked to maintain and grow relationships over a distance and, at the same time, have been driving down roots with the people who will be by our side for the next several years.

It took some time to adjust the expectation that life in Milwaukee would be the same as life was in Rochester and, once I stopped looking for the same things, I became fulfilled with the new. We have lots of "couple friends" now and the habits and dynamics of "couple friends" are vastly different than our large, fairly fluid group of friends in Rochester. (that subject maybe deserves a whole other post.) We have settled on a church to attend after searching around for a church situation similar to the one we left. We have exchanged the numbered road system of Rochester for memorizing the streets that cross through Milwaukee and the suburbs. We have grown to love our multi-generational Bible study and fellowship after leaving Salt and Light.

And now we enter another school year with a better understanding of what to expect ... what we need to do to keep our relationship strong and fulfilling, how much work Christopher has to give to school work, what Loki needs from us to be happy and what it takes for us to grow and maintain relationships.

I have learned that when I am tempted to pack things up and run back to the familiar, it is best to go in search of the beauty that it right in front of me. And to give thanks for everything, new or familiar, challenging or comforting, difficult or routine.

simple beauty

2011-08-16T21:31:00.003-05:00

#1725 - 1747
- scripture memorization (Colossians, if you are wondering. yep, the whole book)

- time to hang out with my sister-in-law ... and knowing what makes her feel special
- e-mails from my brother with songs he has written
- enjoying friends
- a day with my hubby all to myself
- cool water in my cup
- actually doing my household tasks
- tall sunflowers
- twin deer crossing the road
- a bike ride on a cool evening
- waffles in the morning
-sunsets on the drive West
- the "snowflake" flowers (weeds) all around
- after dinner kisses
- silly kids dances
- listening to Eva talk about life and church
- walking down familiar trails
- sitting on the lazy-boy with Loki next to me (his absolute favorite place to be at the Brenna's home, maybe ever)
- looking forward to seeing my Netzer family this weekend
- family pictures in the back yard
- reading a good book and collecting a pile of books from my mother-in-law
- having no pressing agenda for the day

Sometimes vacation looks like this and sometimes it is in the beauty of everyday ... amplified by the fact that I don't have to go back to work for 5 days still. =)

Photo Dump

2011-08-08T21:31:00.003-05:00

So I am on call, the cleaner I just used to clean the bathroom says "wipe, leave for 10 min til dry" so I'm leaving it. And adding a few pics of our recent adventures.

Food. Christopher posted more about food over here.

tacos. tofu stir fry. spinach pie. eggplant parmesan and pork with cabbage and dumplings

WI Dells.

The only pictures I took. Fitting though, the kids LOVED the bumper cars.

Crooked Lake

Downtown Milwaukee with the hubby's family

yep, that is Loki in the basket. After running half way, he decided this was the way to travel.

trying to fly a kite. I am in LOVE with the city-scape in the background

My Little Garden

just because it makes me so darn happy

Well, I'm still on call, the bathrooms are now put back together and I chatted with a friend.

Happy Monday Friends!

About: theology wives

2011-08-08T17:07:00.002-05:00

It's the time of year when the new doctoral students and their families are moving to Marquette so we've met several new students and their wives. It just so happens that the female students are not married - so I am not simply ignoring the husbands. =)

I realized today that I have categories for theology student wives, and that I don't consider myself part of any group. It was strange to realize that I was viewing myself by what I have not done. I don't have any sort of advanced degree. I don't work at a church. I don't proof-read Christopher's papers (hahahaha!). I can't really tell you what he is working on; I can tell you what I think he is working on but those two usually aren't the same thing. Most of the time I have absolutely no idea what the other students are talking about. And I think it'd be fun to sit in on one of Christopher's classes someday (one he is teaching) ... and make a list of the words/phrases/concepts that I don't understand.

But I'm not really sure that any of those things are the point. I could spend a lifetime comparing myself to others and never be satisfied. Or I could be thankful for what I have and realistically work to strengthen and improve my life.

I choose the latter.

And I know the truth - that I was made to be here, working by Christopher's side, being a supportive wife who happens to work at the hospital down the road.

And that is good.